It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

Recently, people
suppose
Wrong verb form
have thought
show examples
that primary pupils ought to learn the way to grow
vegetables
and protect
animals
. In my perspective, these advantages overshadow its disadvantages. Learning the procedures of growing
vegetables
and keeping
animals
in primary school can help
children
’s future.
While
numerous opponents think learning how to grow
vegetables
and preserve
animals
may waste
children
’s time, adversely influencing
children
’s formal
knowledge
, I protest with that opinion
due to
I believe it teaches
children
other lessons. Growing
vegetables
or taking care of
animals
requires people’s patience which cannot be learned through books,
hence
children
can
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
how to be patient to overcome
their
Change the word
the
show examples
problems in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
In addition
, learning other
knowledge
except
knowledge
from books which is tedious will provide practical experience, understanding where the food they eat derives
for instance
.
Furthermore
, teaching primary
children
the way to grow
vegetables
and keep
animals
can benefit the
world’
Change noun form
world’s
show examples
ecosystem. Learning to grow
vegetables
and protect
animals
can improve
children
’s recognition of
Correct article usage
the environment’
show examples
environment’
Change noun form
environment’s
show examples
preservation when they understand the obstacles of growing a vegetable or taking care of an animal.
Therefore
,
children
will appreciate and protect the environment, especially as they are the subsequent pillars of the world in the future.
As a result
, abundant issues including
animal’
Change noun form
animal
show examples
extinction or environmental pollution can be mitigated gradually.
To sum up
,
although
learning the process of growing
vegetables
and keeping
animals
may slightly badly affect
children
’s formal
knowledge
, it provides
children
with other useful
knowledge
helping
children
’s future and
also
improves the
world’
Change noun form
world’s
show examples
ecosystem.
Submitted by phamhainam0608 on

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supported main points
Ensure the main points are fully elaborated with supporting details. While you did touch upon the benefits of teaching children to grow vegetables and take care of animals, such as patience and practical experience, specific examples or further elaboration would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your response to the task is complete but could benefit from further development. Consider exploring the disadvantages in more depth to provide a more balanced discussion, as the prompt asks to evaluate whether advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The overarching structure of the essay is generally clear, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use a wider range of connectives and topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to more clearly signal the progression of thoughts.
task achievement
To provide a more comprehensive discussion, include a paragraph that explores potential disadvantages or challenges that may arise from teaching children to grow vegetables and care for animals. This would not only respond to the prompt more directly but also demonstrate a critical understanding of the issue.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary children
  • grow vegetables
  • keep animals
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills development
  • environmental awareness
  • health benefits
  • instilling responsibility
  • learning about food production
  • time commitment
  • maintenance costs
  • safety concerns
  • curriculum constraints
  • limited resources
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