It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

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Recently, people

suppose

Wrong verb form

have thought

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that primary pupils ought to learn the way to grow

vegetables

Use synonyms

and protect

animals

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. In my perspective, these advantages overshadow its disadvantages. Learning the procedures of growing

vegetables

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and keeping

animals

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in primary school can help

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children

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’s future.

While

Linking Words

numerous opponents think learning how to grow

vegetables

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and preserve

animals

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may waste

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children

Use synonyms

’s time, adversely influencing

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children

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’s formal

knowledge

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, I protest with that opinion

due to

Linking Words

I believe it teaches

children

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other lessons. Growing

vegetables

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or taking care of

animals

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requires people’s patience which cannot be learned through books,

hence

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

can

know

Verb problem

learn

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how to be patient to overcome

their

Change the word

the

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problems in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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In addition

Linking Words

, learning other

knowledge

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except

knowledge

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from books which is tedious will provide practical experience, understanding where the food they eat derives

for instance

Linking Words

Furthermore

Linking Words

, teaching primary

children

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the way to grow

vegetables

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and keep

animals

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can benefit the

world’

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world’s

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ecosystem. Learning to grow

vegetables

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and protect

animals

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can improve

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children

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’s recognition of

Correct article usage

the environment’

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environment’

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environment’s

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preservation when they understand the obstacles of growing a vegetable or taking care of an animal.

Therefore

Linking Words

children

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will appreciate and protect the environment, especially as they are the subsequent pillars of the world in the future.

As a result

Linking Words

, abundant issues including

animal’

Change noun form

animal

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extinction or environmental pollution can be mitigated gradually.

To sum up

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

learning the process of growing

vegetables

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and keeping

animals

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may slightly badly affect

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children

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’s formal

knowledge

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, it provides

children

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with other useful

knowledge

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helping

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children

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’s future and

also

Linking Words

improves the

world’

Change noun form

world’s

show examples

ecosystem.

phamhainam0608Thu Dec 14 2023

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supported main points

Ensure the main points are fully elaborated with supporting details. While you did touch upon the benefits of teaching children to grow vegetables and take care of animals, such as patience and practical experience, specific examples or further elaboration would strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Your response to the task is complete but could benefit from further development. Consider exploring the disadvantages in more depth to provide a more balanced discussion, as the prompt asks to evaluate whether advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

The overarching structure of the essay is generally clear, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use a wider range of connectives and topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to more clearly signal the progression of thoughts.

task achievement

To provide a more comprehensive discussion, include a paragraph that explores potential disadvantages or challenges that may arise from teaching children to grow vegetables and care for animals. This would not only respond to the prompt more directly but also demonstrate a critical understanding of the issue.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

primary children
grow vegetables
keep animals
advantages
disadvantages
practical skills development
environmental awareness
health benefits
instilling responsibility
learning about food production
time commitment
maintenance costs
safety concerns
curriculum constraints
limited resources

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It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impacts of aging population

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

Some people think there is no need for professional photographers as everybody knows how to click pictures. What is your opinion? Include any relevant personal experience and knowledge

in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?