Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
People
believe advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. I totally agree with this
statement and will explain why in the following essay
First of all, I believe every brand before launching the product
first they think
about increase the selling. Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
Influance
Correct your spelling
Influenced
people
to know and buy our product
by advertising. In the modern era like now, advertising is not only by magazine
or Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
newspapper
. Every social Correct your spelling
newspaper
media
can be use
to Change the form of the verb
used
advertising
the Wrong verb form
advertise
product
. I believe every people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
have
a smartphone and Correct subject-verb agreement
has
have
social Correct subject-verb agreement
has
media
like instagram
, facebook , twitter Change the capitalization
Instagram
and
etc.
Correct word choice
apply
And
Correct word choice
Second
second,
advertising on social media
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
big
impact Add an article
a big
to
Change preposition
on
brand
for Correct article usage
the brand
people
know about brand
Add an article
the brand
product
and more selling
Wrong verb form
sell
product
. Correct article usage
the product
For example
, when we scroll Instagram or Facebook but advertising about clothes or jewerly
Correct your spelling
jewellery
is appear
on display, I believe Wrong verb form
appears
people
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
to click
the advertising Change preposition
in clicking
on screen
display. After Add a hyphen
on-screen
people
know about th
e Correct your spelling
the
product
and interested about
that, I think Change preposition
in
people
encourages
to buy that Change the verb form
encourage
product
but they really do not need
.
Correct pronoun usage
need it
Overall
, I totally agree with this
statement some people
say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Because advertising
can appear on social Correct word choice
Advertising
media
and I believe many people
have social media
in
their smartphoneChange preposition
on
Submitted by ptuyuni on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure, making it challenging for the reader to follow your argument. It's essential to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the topic with appropriate supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay require significant improvement. Both should frame your argument, with the introduction setting out your thesis and the conclusion summarizing the points made and reiterating your position.
task achievement
Your essay presents a basic response to the task, though the ideas could be more developed. It would be beneficial to expand on each point with solid arguments and examples. Assertions should be backed up by more than generalizations for a stronger response.
task achievement
Your ideas need to be presented more clearly and comprehensively. Work on expressing your thoughts in a well-organized manner, ensuring each point is thoroughly explained and connects logically to your overall argument.
task achievement
You need to include more specific examples to support your arguments. Referencing real-life scenarios or statistics can significantly strengthen your essay by showing the actual impact of advertising on purchase behavior.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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