Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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People
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believe advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. I totally agree with
this
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statement and will explain why in the following essay First of all, I believe every brand before launching the
product
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first they
think
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thinks
show examples
about increase the selling.
Influance
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Influenced
people
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to know and buy our
product
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by advertising. In the modern era like now, advertising is not only by
magazine
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magazines
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or
newspapper
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newspaper
. Every social
media
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can be
use
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used
show examples
to
advertising
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advertise
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the
product
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. I believe every
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people
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person
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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a smartphone and
have
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has
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social
media
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like
instagram
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Instagram
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, facebook , twitter
and
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apply
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etc.
And
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Second
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second,
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advertising on social
media
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have
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has
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big
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a big
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impact
to
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on
show examples
brand
Correct article usage
the brand
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for
people
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know about
brand
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the brand
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product
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and
more selling
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sell
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product
Correct article usage
the product
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.
For example
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, when we scroll Instagram or Facebook but advertising about clothes or
jewerly
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jewellery
is appear
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appears
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on display, I believe
people
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interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
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to click
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in clicking
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the advertising
on screen
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on-screen
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display. After
people
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know about
th
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the
e
product
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and interested
about
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in
show examples
that, I think
people
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encourages
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encourage
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to buy that
product
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but they really do not
need
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need it
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.
Overall
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, I totally agree with
this
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statement some
people
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say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need.
Because advertising
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Advertising
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can appear on social
media
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and I believe many
people
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have social
media
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their smartphone
Submitted by ptuyuni on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure, making it challenging for the reader to follow your argument. It's essential to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the topic with appropriate supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay require significant improvement. Both should frame your argument, with the introduction setting out your thesis and the conclusion summarizing the points made and reiterating your position.
task achievement
Your essay presents a basic response to the task, though the ideas could be more developed. It would be beneficial to expand on each point with solid arguments and examples. Assertions should be backed up by more than generalizations for a stronger response.
task achievement
Your ideas need to be presented more clearly and comprehensively. Work on expressing your thoughts in a well-organized manner, ensuring each point is thoroughly explained and connects logically to your overall argument.
task achievement
You need to include more specific examples to support your arguments. Referencing real-life scenarios or statistics can significantly strengthen your essay by showing the actual impact of advertising on purchase behavior.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
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