The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

These days, face-to-face

communication

Use synonyms

is replaced by online

communication

Use synonyms

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

using social

media

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as Facebook and Twitter. In my opinion, the prevalence of it in

communication

Use synonyms

has many significant benefits. First of all, online community limitations still exist. One downside of

that is

Linking Words

social networks

creates

Correct subject-verb agreement

create

show examples

a feeling of superficiality and isolation in

relationships

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

face-to-face allows everyone to connect real feelings, online contact can lead to the deterioration of meaningful

relationships

Use synonyms

between individuals.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

negative impact can be minimized if individuals try to reach a balance between virtual and physical

communication

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is really crucial to

maintain

Wrong verb form

maintaining

show examples

healthy

relationships

Use synonyms

relaxed

Correct article usage

a relaxed

show examples

spirit and

sense

Correct article usage

a sense

show examples

of community.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, digital

communication

Use synonyms

tools provide numerous benefits related to connection and information availability. One advantage of social

media

Use synonyms

is that it is a method of connecting with friends, family, and relatives.

For instance

Linking Words

, overseas students can

talking

Change the verb form

talk

be talking

show examples

with each other through the video call feature of Skype or other apps which traditional

communication

Use synonyms

cannot.

This

Linking Words

leads to improved social connections. Another benefit of social

media

Use synonyms

is that it enhances information accessibility.

For example

Linking Words

, Twitter

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a role as a news source about events all around the world and

updated

Add a missing verb

is updated

show examples

real time

Add a hyphen

real-time

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

using social

media

Use synonyms

cannot bring authenticity as face-to-face can, these social networking platforms serve as powerful tools to help improve

relationships

Use synonyms

, especially long-distance and facilitate the exchange of knowledge. When everyone

learn

Change the verb form

learns

show examples

how to use social networks consciously, I strongly believe

this

Linking Words

development will

offers

Change the verb form

offer

show examples

more benefits.

vanghue77Thu Dec 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay shows a good level of cohesion and logic in the way the ideas are arranged. However, there are instances where transitional phrases could be used more effectively to guide the reader from one point to the next and to improve the connection between ideas.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more clearly defined and concise. The thesis statement could be stronger, and the conclusion could do better at summarizing the main points made throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

You should try to develop your main points further with more specific examples. The use of particular real-world scenarios or studies can significantly bolster an argument. Ensure that the examples provided are directly relevant to the advantages and disadvantages being discussed.

task achievement

Your response addresses the task, providing some balance in the discussion of advantages and disadvantages. However, further development of ideas is needed to make your argument more comprehensive and nuanced.

task achievement

The clarity and development of ideas are lacking at certain points in the essay. Strive for clear, well-developed ideas that are explained and supported by specific examples or evidence. Avoid generalizations and make your ideas as specific as possible to the question prompt.

task achievement

The essay could be significantly improved by providing more relevant and specific examples that support the claims made. The lack of specificity might suggest a superficial understanding of the topic. Incorporate examples that demonstrate a deeper engagement with the subject matter.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
communication
convenience
accessibility
self-expression
creativity
information
perspectives
maintain
genuine
miscommunication
misunderstandings
mental health
well-being
addiction
excessive screen time
privacy concerns
online security risks

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. This problem has become more common among young people these days. Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?
Some opine that snack food is the main cause of a destructive lifestyle. I strongly disapprove of this statement as we will still be fine with a limited intake of this kind of food and the biggest source of this problem is the hustle of life.
7
band
You are interested in attending a training course abroad but require financial support to do so. Write a letter to the education department requesting financial assistance. In your letter •introduce yourself •describe the training course and how it would benefit your work •explain why you need financial assistance.
I am writing this letter to request you for scholarship support from your esteemed organisation.
7.5
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Music, a fascinating art form, touches nearly every aspect of human culture and emotion. Some people believe music is a bridge to connect people from different cultures and ages and I agree with the viewpoint.
7
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this day and age, the advent of technology and a plethora of innovations have made living more comfortable for human beings, creating way higher life expectations for individuals. As a consequence, the number of old people is increasing in the society. Nevertheless, some assert that elderly people are a burden; I side with those who believe these people have more benefits for their community, attempting to outline some underlying reasons for this.
6.5
band
International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, traveling oversea is becoming more affordable. Meanwhile, many countries are conducting new approaches to prompt more visitors. Even though there are still disadvantages to this trend, I think its values are more remarkable.

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. This problem has become more common among young people these days. Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages?