The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #e #g #facebook #twitter #contact #people #life #development

These days, face-to-face

communication

is replaced by online

communication

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

using social

media

such

as Facebook and Twitter. In my opinion, the prevalence of it in

communication

has many significant benefits. First of all, online community limitations still exist. One downside of

that is

social networks

creates

Correct subject-verb agreement

create

show examples

a feeling of superficiality and isolation in

relationships

While

face-to-face allows everyone to connect real feelings, online contact can lead to the deterioration of meaningful

relationships

between individuals.

However

this

negative impact can be minimized if individuals try to reach a balance between virtual and physical

communication

This

is really crucial to

maintain

Wrong verb form

maintaining

show examples

healthy

relationships

relaxed

Correct article usage

a relaxed

show examples

spirit and

sense

Correct article usage

a sense

show examples

of community.

On the other hand

, digital

communication

tools provide numerous benefits related to connection and information availability. One advantage of social

media

is that it is a method of connecting with friends, family, and relatives.

For instance

, overseas students can

talking

Change the verb form

talk

be talking

show examples

with each other through the video call feature of Skype or other apps which traditional

communication

cannot.

This

leads to improved social connections. Another benefit of social

media

is that it enhances information accessibility.

For example

, Twitter

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a role as a news source about events all around the world and

updated

Add a missing verb

is updated

show examples

real time

Add a hyphen

real-time

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

using social

media

cannot bring authenticity as face-to-face can, these social networking platforms serve as powerful tools to help improve

relationships

, especially long-distance and facilitate the exchange of knowledge. When everyone

learn

Change the verb form

learns

show examples

how to use social networks consciously, I strongly believe

this

development will

offers

Change the verb form

offer

show examples

more benefits.

Submitted by vanghue77 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay shows a good level of cohesion and logic in the way the ideas are arranged. However, there are instances where transitional phrases could be used more effectively to guide the reader from one point to the next and to improve the connection between ideas.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more clearly defined and concise. The thesis statement could be stronger, and the conclusion could do better at summarizing the main points made throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

You should try to develop your main points further with more specific examples. The use of particular real-world scenarios or studies can significantly bolster an argument. Ensure that the examples provided are directly relevant to the advantages and disadvantages being discussed.

task achievement

Your response addresses the task, providing some balance in the discussion of advantages and disadvantages. However, further development of ideas is needed to make your argument more comprehensive and nuanced.

task achievement

The clarity and development of ideas are lacking at certain points in the essay. Strive for clear, well-developed ideas that are explained and supported by specific examples or evidence. Avoid generalizations and make your ideas as specific as possible to the question prompt.

task achievement

The essay could be significantly improved by providing more relevant and specific examples that support the claims made. The lack of specificity might suggest a superficial understanding of the topic. Incorporate examples that demonstrate a deeper engagement with the subject matter.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
communication
convenience
accessibility
self-expression
creativity
information
perspectives
maintain
genuine
miscommunication
misunderstandings
mental health
well-being
addiction
excessive screen time
privacy concerns
online security risks

What to do next:

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The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. Do you agree

Now a days more and more people are migrating to developed countries for higher education and better employment opportunities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this type of migration?

If people go to live in another country, they should follow local customs and traditions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries television shows many foreign -made programmes. The dominance to the imported entertainment is harmful to the culture of these countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.