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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information about levels of education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland, in 2010.

The charts below give information about levels of education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland, in 2010.
#information #levels #education #glasgow #city #scotland
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The histogram
prove
Verb problem
shows
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 the data about
education
Use synonyms
levels
Use synonyms
 by age range in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Scotland in 2010;
whereas
Linking Words
, the pie chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
education
Use synonyms
levels
Use synonyms
 by gender during the same period.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the student with
range
Correct article usage
a range
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 age from 24-35
years
Use synonyms
 old was by the far most popular ages by the level of
education
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 school
certificate
Fix the agreement mistake
certificates
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 who
were
Wrong verb form
are
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 elderly are
more lowest
Correct word choice
less
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 than another ages.
According to
Linking Words
pie
Add an article
the pie
a pie
show examples
 chart, the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 degree who
age
Correct your spelling
are
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 between 24
until
Correct word choice
and
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 35
years
Use synonyms
 old are more highest
Linking Words
Change preposition
than then
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then
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 item
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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 at 76 %.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
teeneger
Correct your spelling
teenage
 and the
adulth
Correct your spelling
adult
years
Use synonyms
 of the
education
Use synonyms
levels
Use synonyms
 are as
Linking Words
similarly
Change the word
similar
show examples
 number as the university
deegre
Correct your spelling
degree
 of
education
Use synonyms
levels
Use synonyms
 is at 71%.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest number of
erderly
Correct your spelling
elderly
orderly
years
Use synonyms
 school
certificat
Correct your spelling
certificate
 is lowest than
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 items
levels
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
education
Change preposition
of education
show examples
. Regarding to pie chart, the university degree of
education
Use synonyms
 level who is men are most highest than women at 32%;
whereas
Linking Words
, the women of the
education
Use synonyms
levels
Use synonyms
 from non qualifications were highest than men at 38%.
However
Linking Words
, the
Linking Words
similarly
Change the adverb
similar
show examples
 data of gender who are school certificate at 33%.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, similarly, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, levels, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage distribution
  • educational levels
  • qualifications
  • higher education
  • school level qualifications
  • no qualifications
  • proportions
  • notable trends
  • outliers
  • age demographics
  • economic conditions
  • social policies
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