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Nowadays the population of young people is more than old people in the countries and it benefits us to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#population #people #countries
It has become a concerning issue
among
Change preposition
in
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 the society whether young population is more beneficial or not.I totally agree with
this
 nation and
i
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I
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 will give some supportive views in upcoming paragraphs. Why young population is important? The most remarkable reason is
strong
Correct article usage
the strong
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 willpower to elaborate
?
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.
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young
Capitalize word
Young
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people
 have more
feaxible
Correct your spelling
flexible
 thinking they can work more time because they have more patience levels rather than older
people
.
As a result
, economic growth will increase which is beneficial for
country
Add an article
the country
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.Another considerable reason is
less
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apply
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load national budget To elucidate, when older
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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face
health related
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health-related
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 issues
than
Correct your spelling
the
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 government provide medical help to the older individual
due
to
Change preposition
apply
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this
 national budget become unbalanced young
people
 face
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 health problem.
Hence
, government reduce
finical
Correct word choice
financial
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 burden. What is
more
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more,
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 the most prominent
solutions
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solution
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 is young brains more creative.To explicate,young
people
 are more creative as compared to senior citizens
yound
Correct your spelling
young
people
 have unique ideas and they
do
Verb problem
make
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 new inventions which help to make
people
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people's
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 life more easy.
Resultantly
Rephrase
As a result
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, young
people
 change
the
Change the word
their
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 individual
life
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lives
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 in different ways.
For
instance
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instance,
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 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 19 years
old
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apply
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markzuckerverg invented
face book
Correct your spelling
facebook
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 for
people
 because all
people
 can communicate
each
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with each
show examples
 other easily and they are more beneficial for
nation
Add an article
the nation
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. In conclusion, young
people
 are more beneficial for a country in terms of strong willpower,less load national budget
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
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 young brains are more creative.
Submitted by amandhanoa987 on

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task achievement
The essay inadequately addresses task requirements, resulting in a lack of clarity and uneven development of ideas. To enhance task achievement, thoroughly answer the question, providing clear and comprehensive arguments. Ensure each paragraph contributes effectively towards answering the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, which hinders the reader's understanding. To improve cohesion, organize ideas clearly by using linking words and coherent paragraphs. Each paragraph should flow logically to the next, connecting ideas effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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