Nowadays the population of young people is more than old people in the countries and it benefits us to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#population #people #countries

It has become a concerning issue

among

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the society whether young population is more beneficial or not.I totally agree with

this

nation and

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will give some supportive views in upcoming paragraphs. Why young population is important? The most remarkable reason is

strong

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the strong

show examples

willpower to elaborate

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young

Capitalize word

Young

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people

have more

feaxible

Correct your spelling

flexible

thinking they can work more time because they have more patience levels rather than older

people

As a result

, economic growth will increase which is beneficial for

country

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the country

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.Another considerable reason is

less

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apply

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load national budget To elucidate, when older

people

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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face

health related

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health-related

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issues

than

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the

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government provide medical help to the older individual

due

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apply

show examples

this

national budget become unbalanced young

people

face

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

health problem.

Hence

, government reduce

finical

Correct word choice

financial

show examples

burden. What is

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more,

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the most prominent

solutions

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solution

show examples

is young brains more creative.To explicate,young

people

are more creative as compared to senior citizens

yound

Correct your spelling

young

people

have unique ideas and they

Verb problem

make

show examples

new inventions which help to make

people

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people's

show examples

life more easy.

Resultantly

Rephrase

As a result

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, young

people

change

the

Change the word

their

show examples

individual

life

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lives

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in different ways.

For

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

19 years

old

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apply

show examples

markzuckerverg invented

face book

Correct your spelling

facebook

show examples

for

people

because all

people

can communicate

each

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with each

show examples

other easily and they are more beneficial for

nation

Add an article

the nation

show examples

. In conclusion, young

people

are more beneficial for a country in terms of strong willpower,less load national budget

as well

Correct word choice

and

show examples

young brains are more creative.

Submitted by amandhanoa987 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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task achievement

The essay inadequately addresses task requirements, resulting in a lack of clarity and uneven development of ideas. To enhance task achievement, thoroughly answer the question, providing clear and comprehensive arguments. Ensure each paragraph contributes effectively towards answering the prompt.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure, which hinders the reader's understanding. To improve cohesion, organize ideas clearly by using linking words and coherent paragraphs. Each paragraph should flow logically to the next, connecting ideas effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

223 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays the population of young people is more than old people in the countries and it benefits us to what extent do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some parents send their children to preschool when they are three or four years old. Other parents wait until their children are old enough for primary school before they send them to school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to preschool at a young age.

Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion.