Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
These days Internet is
a
rapidly accelerated across global. Change the article
apply
Although
it presents some threats between rich and poor. I believe that the gab
between them will be decreased by awareness.
In general, we can say that, the Correct your spelling
gap
gab
between poor and rich are not real it is only Correct your spelling
gap
a
circumstantial , we can Correct article usage
apply
reduced
it by Change the verb form
reduce
collaboration
in the same event which Replace the word
collaborating
lead
to Change the verb form
leads
learn
from each Change the verb form
learning
others
and will become at Change to a singular noun
other
same
level. Add an article
the same
To
Change preposition
In
comparing
, the rich Change the form of the verb
compare
has
more opportunity to develop Change the verb form
have
project
and become international business more than Add an article
the project
a project
poor
.
Correct article usage
the poor
Otherwise
, establish
Wrong verb form
establishing
the
friendship between them ,Correct article usage
a
it
helps improve Correct pronoun usage
apply
sociality
situation without Replace the word
the social
judge
. Replace the word
judgment
Fore more
, it will Correct your spelling
Furthermore
sharing
the ideas and Change the verb form
share
be sharing
emphasis
the Replace the word
emphasise
team work
grouping.
Unfortunately, Correct your spelling
teamwork
the
poor person usually has a limitation in energy and thinkingCorrect article usage
apply
so
, present rich people Rephrase
apply
at
the same circle Change preposition
in
contributed
to looking forward, which Wrong verb form
contribute
increased
the level of productivity in their lives. Now, there are Wrong verb form
increases
a
various Correct article usage
apply
using
of Fix the agreement mistake
uses
Add an article
the internet
internet
for business as Capitalize word
Internet
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
working
.So far, social media is the Change the form of the verb
work
popular
platform Correct quantifier usage
most popular
theses
day, Correct your spelling
these
although
,
it has Remove the comma
apply
negative
side as emotional Add an article
a negative
feeling
,when Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
present
Wrong verb form
presenting
the
pricy clothes or jewellery Correct article usage
apply
these
will Correct pronoun usage
apply
made
poor people sad and Change the verb form
be made
make
thy
will feel Correct your spelling
they
him
broken. Correct pronoun usage
apply
in
contrast, it helps Capitalize word
In
to
be hardworking to become rich.
To Correct pronoun usage
them to
concluded
, Change the form of the verb
conclude
although
the
most Correct article usage
apply
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
interesting
Replace the word
interested
of
Change preposition
in
quality
of Correct article usage
the quality
productive
rather than individual Replace the word
productivity
situation
. So Fix the agreement mistake
situations
this
gab
will eliminated by knowledge. Correct your spelling
gap
This
is why in my view, the
technology has a greater potential benefit for learning Correct article usage
apply
a
new skills and achieving progressCorrect the article-noun agreement
apply
Submitted by M on
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task achievement
Task achievement: Your essay attempts to discuss both views and gives an opinion which is good. However, your response is incomplete. To enhance your score, ensure that you directly and fully address the task prompt, providing relevant discussion for both views and articulating your opinion more clearly with well-explained reasons.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay would benefit from clear paragraphing with distinct introductions, supporting ideas, and conclusions. Use cohesive devices appropriately to improve the logical flow. Work on structuring your sentences more accurately to aid in coherence. The overall structure is disjointed, and ideas can be better connected to achieve higher scores.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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