Many people leave the countryside for the greater opportunities which are offered by cities. This move is not without disadvantages for both people and the environment. What are some benefits and drawbacks of urbanization?
An increasing number of
people
migrate from rural areas
to urban ones in the hope of a better life.
Firstly
, People
migrate from small towns to avail of better opportunities, for a better standard of living. Urban areas
are filled with countless factories, and companies that provide employee with suitable income to their employees.
Secondly
, Convenience is one of the many reasons people
decide to move to a city. People
can simply access to services like healthcare, education, and others that they might not have had in a rural area
Finally
, The options for students seeking a better education are scarce in small towns because rural areas
don’t have many schools to choose from. Public and private schools, for example
, are more numerous and more varied in metropolis.
However
, urbanization has led to a higher density of the demographic, which results in many problems.
The first problem, urban dwellers have to deal with is traffic congestion and overcrowded.
The second problem, an increase in the number of inhabitants in cities leads to an increase in the demand for rent or purchase housing, which can create accommodation issues.
The last
problem, fewer workers in the production results in decreased production of crops, further
enhancing the price. For instance
, India is witnessing a devastating effect due to
a shortage of food.
In a nutshell, moving from rural to urban areas
is a reality that nations around the globe are facing.Submitted by haanhnguyet21072006 on
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Introduction
Your introduction appears to be underdeveloped and lacks a clear thesis statement outlining the main benefits and drawbacks that will be discussed. Additionally, explore a more comprehensive and nuanced approach to the introduction to immediately guide the reader to comprehend the scope of the essay.
Main Body
The main body paragraphs should be more elaborately structured, with each containing a clear main point, followed by pertinent explanation and example to back up that point. Connect your ideas more cohesively using a variety of linking words and maintain paragraph unity by keeping to one main idea per paragraph.
Conclusion
Your conclusion appears to be too brief and merely restates the essay topic without giving a summary of the arguments or a final opinion. Expand on your conclusion to provide a brief recap of the benefits and drawbacks discussed, and if applicable, state your final standpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Evidence of logical structuring within each paragraph is required, with each idea leading to the next in a smooth and clear manner. Use a mix of simple and complex sentences to better convey your points, and make appropriate use of discourse markers.
Ideas with Support
Support your main points with specific details and examples to strengthen your arguments. This includes giving real-life instances or statistical evidence that can make your essay more persuasive and informative.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.