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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Time: 40 minutes Write at least 250 words In many countries, shops open for longer hours daily every week. What is the negative or positive effects of this on the shoppers and local community. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#time #minutes #countries #shops #hours #week #effects #shoppers #community
Many
Change preposition
In many
show examples
 countries in the world, shopping mall opens much more time in order to demand
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 citizens but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 have a harmful effect on
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 and electricity. In my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
, shops should unlocked
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 office hours. On the one hand, the workshop
much
Add a missing verb
is much
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more wide
Replace the words
wider
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 open so can promote the
econimic's
Correct your spelling
economy's
 country.
Because when
Correct word choice
When
show examples
 shops could
be sale
Verb problem
sell
show examples
 their products, they
must
Verb problem
had
show examples
 to pay taxes
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 state officials. If they do not pay money, they will not
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task achievement
The essay does not fulfill the requirement of the given task. It appears unfinished and lacks both a clear introduction and conclusion. The viewpoints presented are not developed sufficiently and fail to address the question in full. It is critical that you understand the need to respond to all parts of the question and to construct your essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks logical structure and coherence. Ideas are not clearly linked and paragraphs are not well-developed. Coherence and cohesion can be improved by organizing ideas into well-structured paragraphs, using cohesive devices to link ideas, and ensuring that each paragraph explores a single idea in depth.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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