In some countries, a lot of children have health issues and are becoming overweight. Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
YesAdd the punctuation
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it is
bitterChange the adjective
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true, is just because of junk
and
do
noCorrect your spelling
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take
balancedCorrect article usage
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diet. In
century
all
childrensCorrect your spelling
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are Unnecessary verb
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eat tasty
. In the past
the Remove the article
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they
were Unnecessary verb
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ate proper house
. They do not
ateChange the verb form
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street
.
not providesChange the verb form
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pure
to the people
is the main reason
healthChange preposition
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issueFix the agreement mistake
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in
childrensCorrect your spelling
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.
NowdaysCorrect the word
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parents are
for
because they do not pay
to their children.
But
governmentCorrect article usage
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need to take responsibility to improve their
. They
theCorrect article usage
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inspector to inspect the
who sell
inChange preposition
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their local streets. The
inspectors went to the schools to aware the children
to eatVerb problem
show examples
junk
and took
inChange preposition
show examples
their
servesWrong verb form
show examples
pure and best pulses and
.
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introduction conclusion present
The essay does not have a clear introduction or conclusion, which are essential for structuring the argument effectively. Ensure that the essay starts with an introduction that paraphrases the question and sets out your position, and concludes with a summary of your main points and a restatement of your opinion.
The essay's structure is hard to follow due to a lack of clear progression between ideas. Use paragraphs effectively, each with a clear central topic, and connect your ideas with appropriate linking words to improve the logical flow.
While the essay attempts to support the main points, the arguments would benefit from more elaboration and the inclusion of specific examples to strengthen the position taken. Develop each point with sufficient detail and evidence to be convincing.
The response is incomplete and partially addresses the task, but it does not fully develop a clear argument nor does it discuss the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement. The response should comprehensively answer the question and clearly state the extent of agreement or disagreement throughout the essay, providing compelling reasons for the position held.
clear comprehensive ideas
The main ideas presented in the essay are difficult to understand due to a lack of clarity and comprehensiveness. Work on clearly expressing your ideas, expanding on them with detailed explanations, and ensuring that the reader can easily comprehend the points being made.
relevant specific examples
The essay lacks the use of relevant and specific examples to support the arguments. It is important to integrate concrete examples that are directly related to your points to illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.