In some countries, a lot of children have health issues and are becoming overweight. Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Yes
it is Add the punctuation
Yes,
bitter
true, is just because of junk Change the adjective
bitterly
food
and childrens
do Correct your spelling
children
children's
no
take Correct your spelling
not
balanced
diet. In Correct article usage
a balanced
this
century there
all Rephrase
apply
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
are
eat tasty Unnecessary verb
apply
food
. In the past the
they Remove the article
apply
were
ate proper house Unnecessary verb
apply
food
. They do not ate
street Change the verb form
eat
food
.
Governmet
Correct your spelling
Government
not provides
pure Change the verb form
does not provide
food
to the people this
is the main reason health
Change preposition
for health
issue
in Fix the agreement mistake
issues
childrens
. Correct your spelling
children
Nowdays
parents are Correct the word
Nowadays
equaly resposible
for Correct your spelling
equally responsible
this
because they do not pay attension
to their children.
But Correct your spelling
attention
government
need to take responsibility to improve their Correct article usage
the government
food
. They hier
Correct your spelling
hire
the
Correct article usage
a
food
inspector to inspect the food
who sell in
their local streets. The Change preposition
on
food
inspectors went to the schools to aware the children to eat
junk Verb problem
aware of
food
and took responcibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
in
their Change preposition
for
maret
Correct your spelling
mouths
serves
pure and best pulses and Wrong verb form
serving
vegitables
.Correct your spelling
vegetables
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introduction conclusion present
The essay does not have a clear introduction or conclusion, which are essential for structuring the argument effectively. Ensure that the essay starts with an introduction that paraphrases the question and sets out your position, and concludes with a summary of your main points and a restatement of your opinion.
logical structure
The essay's structure is hard to follow due to a lack of clear progression between ideas. Use paragraphs effectively, each with a clear central topic, and connect your ideas with appropriate linking words to improve the logical flow.
supported main points
While the essay attempts to support the main points, the arguments would benefit from more elaboration and the inclusion of specific examples to strengthen the position taken. Develop each point with sufficient detail and evidence to be convincing.
complete response
The response is incomplete and partially addresses the task, but it does not fully develop a clear argument nor does it discuss the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement. The response should comprehensively answer the question and clearly state the extent of agreement or disagreement throughout the essay, providing compelling reasons for the position held.
clear comprehensive ideas
The main ideas presented in the essay are difficult to understand due to a lack of clarity and comprehensiveness. Work on clearly expressing your ideas, expanding on them with detailed explanations, and ensuring that the reader can easily comprehend the points being made.
relevant specific examples
The essay lacks the use of relevant and specific examples to support the arguments. It is important to integrate concrete examples that are directly related to your points to illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.