Governments should spend money on railways rather than road To what extended do you agree or disagree?

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Some people argue that
governments
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should spend more
money
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on
railways
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than
roads
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. Personally, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
point of view because
i
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I
show examples
believe that
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the governments
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governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
Correct your spelling
expenditures
expenditure
expentidures
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expenses
on
railways
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bring more profit for us On the one hand, some people think that
governments
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should spend
money
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on
roads
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because it can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
by improving
infrastructure
Add an article
the infrastructure
show examples
of
roads
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.
For example
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, in India almost all
roads
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are not smooth and in a rundown condition. If the
governments
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in
this
Linking Words
country spend
money
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on
roads
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, it will be a good contribution
for
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to
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Indian
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the Indian
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population.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will be useful for drivers by helping to reduce the need for fixing cars.
This
Linking Words
is because these
poor condition
Add a hyphen
poor-condition
show examples
roads
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often cause to damage cars' engines and wheels as well.
In addition
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, some people do not have enough
money
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for fixing
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to fix
show examples
their cars every time.
As a result
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, they always complain about
this
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phenomenon. Having considered these points, one can be easily convinced that the government should spend more
money
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on
roads
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.
However
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, I believe that
governments
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spend more
money
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on
railways
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.
This
Linking Words
is
beacuse
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because
railways
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provide a cost-effective and efficient mode of transporting goods over long distances, which can help
bussiness
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businesses
business
to reduce transportation costs and streamline their supply chain operations.
Compered
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Compared
show examples
to
roads
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,
railways
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produce lower emissions and consume less fuel per ton-mile, making them
more
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a more
show examples
envorinmentally
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environmentally
friendly option for
trnasportation
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transportation
.
Furhermore
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Furthermore
, rail travel can offer visitors a unique cultural experience, allowing them to interact with locals, enjoy diverse landscapes, and learn about the history and heritage of
areas
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the areas
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they are travelling through. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
spending
money
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on
roads
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can be useful for drivers,
i
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I
show examples
believe that investing more in
railways
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can be beneficial for
Correct article usage
the envorinment
show examples
envorinment
Correct your spelling
environment
and cultural experience.
Submitted by otajon.javohir on

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Task Achievement
The introduction could be improved with a clearer thesis statement explicitly showing whether you agree or disagree with the idea that governments should prioritize railways over roads.
Task Achievement
Make sure that your arguments are balanced and fully developed. While you have provided reasons for both sides, the support for the side you agree with is less developed and lacking specific examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay should have a clear logical structure, with each body paragraph discussing a separate main idea. Ensure that each paragraph starts with a topic sentence that clearly links to the main argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This enhances the flow of your writing and guides the reader through your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion could be more effective by summarizing the main points discussed and definitively stating your position. Avoid introducing new ideas at this stage.
Task Achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary, including synonyms and more complex expressions, to demonstrate your language ability. Moreover, watch out for spelling and grammar errors that can hinder the clarity of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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