Governments should spend money on railways rather than road To what extended do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that
governments
should spend more
money
on
railways
than
roads
. Personally, I completely agree with
this
point of view because
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
Correct article usage
the governments
show examples
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
Correct your spelling
expenditures
expenditure
expentidures
Correct your spelling
expenses
on
railways
bring more profit for us On the one hand, some people think that
governments
should spend
money
on
roads
because it can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accident
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accidents
show examples
by improving
infrastructure
Add an article
the infrastructure
show examples
of
roads
.
For example
, in India almost all
roads
are not smooth and in a rundown condition. If the
governments
in
this
country spend
money
on
roads
, it will be a good contribution
for
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to
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Indian
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the Indian
show examples
population.
Moreover
, it will be useful for drivers by helping to reduce the need for fixing cars.
This
is because these
poor condition
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poor-condition
show examples
roads
often cause to damage cars' engines and wheels as well.
In addition
, some people do not have enough
money
for fixing
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to fix
show examples
their cars every time.
As a result
, they always complain about
this
phenomenon. Having considered these points, one can be easily convinced that the government should spend more
money
on
roads
.
However
, I believe that
governments
spend more
money
on
railways
.
This
is
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
railways
provide a cost-effective and efficient mode of transporting goods over long distances, which can help
bussiness
Correct your spelling
businesses
business
to reduce transportation costs and streamline their supply chain operations.
Compered
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Compared
show examples
to
roads
,
railways
produce lower emissions and consume less fuel per ton-mile, making them
more
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a more
show examples
envorinmentally
Correct your spelling
environmentally
friendly option for
trnasportation
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transportation
.
Furhermore
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Furthermore
, rail travel can offer visitors a unique cultural experience, allowing them to interact with locals, enjoy diverse landscapes, and learn about the history and heritage of
areas
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the areas
show examples
they are travelling through. In conclusion,
while
spending
money
on
roads
can be useful for drivers,
i
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I
show examples
believe that investing more in
railways
can be beneficial for
Correct article usage
the envorinment
show examples
envorinment
Correct your spelling
environment
and cultural experience.
Submitted by otajon.javohir on

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Task Achievement
The introduction could be improved with a clearer thesis statement explicitly showing whether you agree or disagree with the idea that governments should prioritize railways over roads.
Task Achievement
Make sure that your arguments are balanced and fully developed. While you have provided reasons for both sides, the support for the side you agree with is less developed and lacking specific examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay should have a clear logical structure, with each body paragraph discussing a separate main idea. Ensure that each paragraph starts with a topic sentence that clearly links to the main argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This enhances the flow of your writing and guides the reader through your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion could be more effective by summarizing the main points discussed and definitively stating your position. Avoid introducing new ideas at this stage.
Task Achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary, including synonyms and more complex expressions, to demonstrate your language ability. Moreover, watch out for spelling and grammar errors that can hinder the clarity of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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