IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more immigration and language skills than those who prefer to watch tv to extent you agree or disagree

#people #books #immigration #language #skills #tv
Some people believe that many people can read
books
develop
Correct word choice
and develop
show examples
 more immigration and language skills than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 prefer to watch tv l talk
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
I
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
 statement I like to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
read
books
.
reading
Capitalize word
Reading
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
 is my hobby.I like many nawls hbv
jhfdgh
Correct your spelling
high
 gbbxfg
hgfddd
Correct your spelling
had
 huuhvfy
ghgff
Correct your spelling
chaff
dert
Correct your spelling
dirt
dart
books
 fighting you watched that you know of any kind of
claming
Correct your spelling
claiming
 compensation varies inversely proportional relationship with you and language skills than those who prefer to watch tv.
Books
 for working with me on Monday morning at work today and language skills than those who prefer to watch ho Hhg
Submitted by alih450895917 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay you submitted is not organized in a coherent manner. It lacks a clear introduction, a structured body, and a conclusion that summarizes your opinion. The sentences seem disjointed, which makes it difficult to follow your line of reasoning. It also includes a significant amount of unintelligible text with no clear connection to the argument being presented.
task achievement
The essay does not sufficiently address the task. Your response must directly answer the question by agreeing, disagreeing, or partially agreeing with a clear explanation of your opinion. Provide well-developed arguments with relevant examples to support your position. The response provided here does not present a complete thought and fails to engage with the topic effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: