students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. what are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

it is believed that nowadays students abandon their school without learning how to spend their
money
in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
correct
way
.
this
essay will present some root causes and effective solutions. The main reason is the
way
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
people educate children.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
cause is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of educational subjects about
money
and finance at schools.
For instance
, there are some subjects at schools
such
as art or music, but there is no teaching about soft skills
such
as finance
management
or time
management
.
Second,
this
problem comes from family and It
also
depends on family.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
show examples
parents
allow to their children spend
money
without any attention and
education
about controlling their budget. There are
also
some solutions for
this
issue. The first
way
to solve
this
problem is to add some
sciences
Fix the agreement mistake
science
show examples
and lecturers about disposing
finances
Change preposition
of finances
show examples
. By adding subjects
such
as financial
management
government can increase
awareness
Correct article usage
the awareness
show examples
of young people about
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
of
money
and
rational
Correct article usage
the rational
show examples
way
of spending
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that acquiring
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
about
money
from
parents
may be a possible solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
issue.
Parents
can allocate a certain amount of
money
for their children.
For example
,
parents
can give 20 dollars for the child’s personal expenses per week. I think
that is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best
way
to teach
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
about spending
money
wisely. In conclusion, a lot of youngsters finish their high school
education
without
no
Correct determiner usage
any
show examples
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
about financial
management
.
This
is the result of incorrect
education
of schools and
parents
.
Therefore
,
parents
and
Correct article usage
the ministry
show examples
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
show examples
of
education
Capitalize word
Education
show examples
should take actions like creating practical classes and sharing information about
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
of
money
.
Submitted by abylaj9999 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay is organized logically, with a clear progression of ideas throughout. Establish a strong connection between paragraphs using a variety of linking mechanisms. Support main points with detailed explanations and development, rather than presenting them in a list-like manner.
task achievement
Expand on the task by fully addressing all parts of the prompt. While you have touched on reasons and solutions, develop these further with complex sentences and more nuanced explanations. Provide specific examples to illustrate your points and demonstrate a clear understanding of the task.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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