In their advertising business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative devlopment?

Advertising is a great platform to showcase our products to

customers

Use synonyms

.Nowadays advertising agencies focus more on how new and

advance

Wrong verb form

advanced

show examples

a product is,rather than emphasizing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

its benefit.I strongly believe it plays a negative role in the development of

business

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, a true advertisement

business

Use synonyms

is one which

emphasize

Change the verb form

emphasizes

show examples

more on

Rephrase

apply

show examples

how new a product is,regardless of the fact that the product displayed is beneficial or not for the

customers

Use synonyms

overall

Linking Words

growth in the field of the advertisement

business

Use synonyms

lies solely on customer satisfaction and catering

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

personal needs.

To conclude

Linking Words

,it is mandatory and beneficial to introduce new products in some or the other way,but

on the other

Linking Words

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

avoiding the

customer

Change noun form

customer's

show examples

personal

need

Fix the agreement mistake

needs

show examples

and care regime

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can benefit the advertising company

;

Change the punctuation

show examples

but at the cost of

Use synonyms

customers

Fix the agreement mistake

customer

show examples

safety is a negative development.

shaikh.amrin

Dec 14, 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay shows an attempt at structuring the response, but it lacks a clear and logical progression. Ideas are not well-developed and paragraphs are poorly structured, which confuses the reader and obstructs the flow of information. Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. Furthermore, it is essential to logically connect these ideas using appropriate cohesive devices.

task achievement

The essay responds to the prompt but fails to fully address all aspects of the task. You have provided an opinion but it is not sustained throughout the essay. Work on clearly stating your opinion in the introduction and ensure that it is reiterated in the conclusion for a complete response. Additionally, you could improve on developing your ideas and providing more relevant, specific examples to support each point. Without specific examples or evidence, the arguments lack persuasiveness and a clear comprehensive discussion of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

218 words

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In their advertising business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative devlopment?

A prisoner should stay in their cell every day of his/her sentence. That is what justice means. Do you agree with this statement or believe that prisoners could do something more constructive with their time, such as voluntary work?

Some people believe that governments should make university education free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using mobile phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?