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Writing Samples
Band 3

In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with thier grandparents. What do you think are the consequences of this?

#societies #grandchildren #quality #time #thier #grandparents #consequences
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Love and peace
makes
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make
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house
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a house
the house
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 a home. Grandparents or
ancestrols
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ancestors
 are the pillar of our homes. Nowadays,
due to
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 modernisation, youngsters rarely spend valuable time with them. We have elaborated
the
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on the
show examples
 causes and consequences of
this
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 problem in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
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, the age gap between the young ones and their
granparents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
 is a prominent cause.
Then
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, there is always a lack of understanding among them.
Secondly
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, in
current
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the current
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 era, busy academic
schedule
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schedules
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 and excessive usage of technology
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 mobile phones,
ipads
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iPads
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, etcetera by offsprings . Technology has a negative impact on child's brain growth and
deplet
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depletes
 their etiquettes.
Consequently
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, modern
child
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children
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 become
ill- mannered
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ill-mannered
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 as they always demand
for
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apply
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a personal space.
Moreover
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, the adjustment factor has no existence in their lives. They do not have any cultural ethics
as well as
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 moral values.
However
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, the children become annoying as they
use
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used
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 to argue with their parents as well.
In addition
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 to
this
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, if they have
communication
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a communication
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 gap with grandparents ,
then
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, they are unable to make important decisions .
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Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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 they are unable to decide between good and bad.
To conclude
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with
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apply
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, we believe that
the
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apply
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youngsters must have quality scheduled time for communicating with their parents and family. They should remember the fact that family is a significant support system.
Submitted by kaurmohinder343 on

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coherence cohesion
There is minimal use of cohesive devices and the essay structure follows a basic format; but lacks a clear progression of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more developed to effectively introduce and conclude the topic.
task achievement
The essay somewhat addresses the task, yet it does not fully develop all parts of the prompt. The response needs to be more detailed and focused on the specific consequences of the lack of interaction between grandchildren and grandparents rather than a general critique on modern children's behavior.
lexical resource
Try to employ a wider range of vocabulary to convey precise meanings, and work on sentence structure to improve readability. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.
grammatical range accuracy
Grammatical range and accuracy need improvement. There are basic grammatical errors present, and sentence structures are often simple or repetitive. Practice complex sentence structures and pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement and proper usage of articles.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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