Some people think that arts (such as painting and music) do not directly improve the quality of people’s life, so the government should spend money on other areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #music #quality #people’s #life #government #money #areas

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A few people think that the quality of people's life cannot be better directly with arts,

therefore

the

government

should spend financial resources on other fields like medicine, science and technology. I agree

completly

Correct your spelling

completely

that The

government

should pay more attention

Change preposition

show examples

other areas than

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

. To

comennce

Correct your spelling

commence

with,

The

Correct article usage

show examples

much amount of money

are

Change the verb form

show examples

being spent on

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

so that The

government

can tax their jobs in the future

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

example, Singer can sing songs in order to make money when they

graduataed

Correct your spelling

graduated

graduate

the

Change preposition

from the

show examples

university of

government

Submitted by abdulmalikyaqubov2 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Provide a clear and consistent structure to your essay. Your introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement. Subsequent paragraphs should each cover a specific point that supports your opinion, and your essay should end with a clear and summarising conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it logically follow one another. Use linking words to connect your ideas and sentences, which helps the reader understand the relationship between them.

task achievement

Your essay does not fully address the task. A complete response should discuss why some believe arts do not directly improve the quality of life, and why you agree or disagree with this view. It should also include a wider range of arguments and examples supporting your viewpoint.

task achievement

Explain and develop your ideas fully. Instead of making a generic statement, delve deeper into why spending on certain areas might be more beneficial than funding the arts. Provide clear and relevant examples to illustrate your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

90 words

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Some people think that arts (such as painting and music) do not directly improve the quality of people’s life, so the government should spend money on other areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this stagement.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Living in country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?