Many manufactured food and drink contains high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

A significant number of
people
out there hold the notion that numerous produced food and drink
products
have a high incorporation of sugar, which leads to a lot of
health
issues,
therefore
sugary commodities should have a high cost to refrain
people
from consuming higher quantities.
This
write-up shall totally debunk
this
view and
further
bring to
bare
Correct your spelling
bear
show examples
the reasons for
this
occurrence and eventually, a reasonable conclusion would be made.
Firstly
, there are several factors accounting for
this
situation,
however
, the most critical factor reigning in
this
regard is education. Educating
people
is the only means of passing important information to them. When the populace is aware of the side effect that comes with ingesting higher amounts of sugary items, they would be discouraged from taking them regularly, thereby restricting the consumption of
such
products
. The government should hold campaigns on
this
topic at vantage points across the country,
this
would help spread the information afar.
Additionally
, they could make a promotion on all media platforms informing the indigenous
people
that nutriments and beverages that have a lot of sugary content cause different kinds of
health
conditions
such
as diabetes mellitus, candidiasis and other
health
-related conditions.
Therefore
, they should reduce the intake of
such
goods, natives of the land would be conscious about their diets,
hence
bringing a reduction in sugary-related diseases. To buttress
this
fact, the Food and Drink Association in Ghana conducted research with the view of finding out why, there has been a drop in the purchase of highly contained sugary nourishments and drinkables and it was indicated the decline happened after the presidency created an awareness on the
health
risks associated with it.
In addition
to the above development, one of the principal features supporting
this
is the laws imposed on these
products
. Rules and regulations are enacted to bring peace and harmony amongst individuals.
Also
, it safeguards its citizens and frees them from harm. Now, when the executives of the land make constitutions by restricting manufacturers on the amount of sweeteners to be added to a commodity,
people
would not be at higher risk of acquiring an ailment.
Moreover
, if the body of the law states that all producers should produce a certain number of these goods within a time frame, automatically, consumption would experience a downward trend, thereby promoting the
health
of its indigenous. A typical example is that the governance of Ghana implemented a policy which refrains manufacturers from producing goods that have a higher level of sugar and limits the quantity of those commodities within a specific period.
To conclude
, after examining the cardinal reasons for
this
development. I can say without reservation that authorities should focus on manufacturers to impose its will on them to restrict their functions and as well keep the
people
educated on these
products
at all times.
Submitted by jennafrasimaa97 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay stays focused on the prompt's question, directly addressing whether you agree or disagree with making sugary products more expensive. Your introduction should clearly state your position on this, and your body paragraphs should align with your stance, supporting your argument with coherent reasons and clear examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clearer logical flow between ideas. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to show the relationships between paragraphs and points within paragraphs. Aim for a more systematic organization where each paragraph delves into a different aspect of the argument. Remember to summarize your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufactured foods
  • health implications
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • dental issues
  • excessive consumption
  • tobacco taxation
  • fiscal measures
  • health policy
  • healthcare costs
  • income inequality
  • nutritional education
  • legislation
  • black market
  • subsidizing
  • affordable
  • diet
  • punitive measures
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