IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically successful and have a clean environment. Others argue that these two aims are not compatible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The topic of the essay
focus
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focuses
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 on two terms
such
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 as "Economy" and "
Environment
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" which are two major aspects that determine a successful
country
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. Some people claim that a
country
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 to become financially successful without disturbing the natural resources or harming pollution. Meanwhile, other people think that it is not possible as one aspect has to sacrifice to achieve the goal. In
this
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 essay I will look at both sides and present my point of view. To commence with, it is possible for a
country
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 to be economically successful with
Correct article usage
a
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clean
environment
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. Undoubtedly, there are many developed countries in terms of their economy
while
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 having pollution-free surroundings.
This
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 is
for
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apply
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the reason that they have adopted programs related to the
environment
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 and implemented laws to protect nature
while
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 maintaining their
country
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's wealth.
For instance
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, New Zealand is known for its being an economically independent and environmentally friendly nation.
According to
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 reports, they have no debts
in
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to
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 the
world bank
Correct your spelling
World Bank
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 and their people generally feel financially and economically secure.
Additionally
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,
this
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country
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 is
also
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 known for
generate
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generating
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 the least air and plastic pollution.
Thus
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, it can be inferred that
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 and environmental success could co-exist in a nation.
On the other hand
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, others still argue that the goal
to achieve
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of achieving
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 economic success
with
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in
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 a
favorable
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favourable
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environment
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 is not possible.
This
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 negative viewpoint could be
depend
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dependent
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to
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on
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 the notion that an economically successful nation develops more industries so that they generate
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
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 amount of waste.
For example
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, most developing countries, like India have reported that with their increasing GDP, air quality, especially in major cities worsens. With more activities to boost the economy,
such
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 as transportation, more pollution is generated.
This
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,
however
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, could be mitigated if the
country
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 could adapt to more environmentally friendly transport systems, like efficient public transportation and
also
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 use electronic
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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.
Also
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, they can invest in green and renewable energy technologies that are produced from natural resources. In conclusion, With both viewpoints discussed, there is a high possibility that nations could be both rich economically and environmentally. It strongly depends on how the
country
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 could adapt to advancements like e-car, decrease the usage of plastic bags and many more
nature friendly
Add a hyphen
nature-friendly
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 activities. They must
be ensure
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be ensured
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to
Change preposition
by
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 the strict law against harm to the
environment
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.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that both the introduction and conclusion fully encapsulate the key points of your argument. The introduction should clearly state the main argument and its significance, while the conclusion should effectively summarize and reaffirm the points made.
logical structure
To improve the logical flow, use a range of cohesive devices appropriately, but avoid overusing them. This will help in linking ideas across paragraphs and within sentences, making your essay more coherent.
supported main points
Support each main point with clear examples and further explanation. Ensure that each paragraph expands upon a central idea and that the examples provided are both relevant and give more weight to your argument.
complete response
Address all parts of the task with sufficient detail. Provide a balanced discussion of both views and ensure that your opinion is clear throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas clearly and logically. Take time to explain and support your points with evidence and examples. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your argument progresses in a coherent way.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support the argument. The use of detailed instances from real-life situations or credible sources will strengthen your essay by illustrating your points more vividly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • environmental sustainability
  • policies
  • technology
  • commitment
  • green technology
  • renewable energy sources
  • carbon emissions
  • pollution
  • industrial development
  • production
  • consumption
  • depletion of natural resources
  • loss of biodiversity
  • unsustainable
  • consumption patterns
  • sustainable development
  • technological innovation
  • global cooperation
  • circular economy
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