Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

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Cinema enjoyers have a debate about whether people need to bring cellphones or tablets into the room since it can ruin the

wtaching

Correct your spelling

watching

experience. We could explain it from both

point

Change to a plural noun

points

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

and

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

symphatize

Correct your spelling

sympathetic

to everyone. In

this

essay, I will discuss the difference

from

Change preposition

between

show examples

these opinions.

Firstly

, some people bring their

phone

because they are preparing just in case some urgent thing happens, that can cause them to leave the cinema early.

For example

, if a family member suddenly

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

help, it is very important to get the notification as soon as possible. Everyone should

also

realize, not every watcher has the

andvantage

Correct your spelling

advantage

of not being disturbed outside of their working time.

For instance

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

who work as a freelancer should be on their

phone

for 24 hours, and always be ready to work

everytime

Replace the word

every time

show examples

they get an opportunity. But,

on the other hand

, I

also

relate to the opposite views, disagreeing about

this

phenomenon. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a lot of time a person who plays

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

phone

annoy others around them.

This

can caused by how bright their screen is, which can ruin the atmosphere inside the theatre. Even, some people are ignorant enough to play loud sounds from their tablets, and cause disadvantages for the whole room.

For example

, if you

scrolling

Wrong verb form

scroll through

show examples

your social media with a

big

Correct word choice

large

show examples

volume, you can not fully enjoy the films and

disturbing

Wrong verb form

disturb

show examples

others

too

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. In conclusion, both perspectives have their own reasons.

Thus

, we should respect each other

while

watching the film, and for those who bring cell

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

, just keep it silent and be polite.

Submitted by vionaanjelia08 on Fri Dec 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear logical structure. Ideas are presented in a confusing order without clear progression.

coherence cohesion

You failed to provide a proper introduction and conclusion. As a result, the essay seems incomplete and lacks a definitive stance or summation.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are not fully developed with appropriate examples or explanations, leading to a weak argument.

task achievement

Your essay somewhat addresses the task but does not cover all parts of the prompt thoroughly. The response needs to fully engage with all aspects of the question.

task achievement

Your ideas are unclear and inadequately developed. The essay requires a more critical and comprehensive exploration of the topic.

task achievement

Use specific examples to support your points. The lack of examples undermines your argument and fails to convey a persuasive message.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Convenience
Mobile Viewing
Cost-efficient
Time-efficient
Personalized experience
Immersive
Cinematic experience
Surround sound
Collective experience
Technical superiority
Sensory experience
Social hubs
Cultural events
Distractions
Preservation
Filmmaking art
Cinematographic nuances

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