Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Cinema enjoyers have a debate about whether people need to bring cellphones or tablets into the room since it can ruin the
wtaching
Correct your spelling
watching
experience. We could explain it from both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
and
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
symphatize
Correct your spelling
sympathetic
to everyone. In
this
essay, I will discuss the difference
from
Change preposition
between
show examples
these opinions.
Firstly
, some people bring their
phone
because they are preparing just in case some urgent thing happens, that can cause them to leave the cinema early.
For example
, if a family member suddenly
need
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needs
show examples
help, it is very important to get the notification as soon as possible. Everyone should
also
realize, not every watcher has the
andvantage
Correct your spelling
advantage
of not being disturbed outside of their working time.
For instance
,
individual
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individuals
show examples
who work as a freelancer should be on their
phone
for 24 hours, and always be ready to work
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
they get an opportunity. But,
on the other hand
, I
also
relate to the opposite views, disagreeing about
this
phenomenon. There
are
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is
show examples
a lot of time a person who plays
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
phone
annoy others around them.
This
can caused by how bright their screen is, which can ruin the atmosphere inside the theatre. Even, some people are ignorant enough to play loud sounds from their tablets, and cause disadvantages for the whole room.
For example
, if you
scrolling
Wrong verb form
scroll through
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your social media with a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
volume, you can not fully enjoy the films and
disturbing
Wrong verb form
disturb
show examples
others
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, both perspectives have their own reasons.
Thus
, we should respect each other
while
watching the film, and for those who bring cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
, just keep it silent and be polite.
Submitted by vionaanjelia08 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure. Ideas are presented in a confusing order without clear progression.
coherence cohesion
You failed to provide a proper introduction and conclusion. As a result, the essay seems incomplete and lacks a definitive stance or summation.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are not fully developed with appropriate examples or explanations, leading to a weak argument.
task achievement
Your essay somewhat addresses the task but does not cover all parts of the prompt thoroughly. The response needs to fully engage with all aspects of the question.
task achievement
Your ideas are unclear and inadequately developed. The essay requires a more critical and comprehensive exploration of the topic.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. The lack of examples undermines your argument and fails to convey a persuasive message.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Mobile Viewing
  • Cost-efficient
  • Time-efficient
  • Personalized experience
  • Immersive
  • Cinematic experience
  • Surround sound
  • Collective experience
  • Technical superiority
  • Sensory experience
  • Social hubs
  • Cultural events
  • Distractions
  • Preservation
  • Filmmaking art
  • Cinematographic nuances
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