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Band 3

Some believe that people today have no interests in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#believe #people #interests #culture #country #region #life
The charts show the results of research
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
adults
Change the noun form
adult
show examples
 education. The bar chart provides the causes why matures decide to
study
while
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart gives the information about costs of education.
Overall
, Interest in
subject
Correct article usage
a subject
show examples
 and gaining qualifications
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 reasons why
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 want to
study
. There are three people who are responsible for the cost of each course and
individual
Correct article usage
the individual
show examples
 is the most responsible one. Interest in
subject
Correct article usage
a subject
show examples
 and gaining qualifications were the dominating reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 choosing to
study
 and
index
Correct article usage
the index
show examples
 of them was about 40% each.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
22
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
adults
 choose to
study
 because it is beneficial for their current job.
Equal
Change the article
An equal
The equal
show examples
 number of
adults
, 20%, voted for both improving prospects of promotion and enjoyment of learning as the reasons why they decide to
study
. Opportunities to change jobs and to meet people were the least popular causes of choosing to
study
 among
adults
 and only 12% and 9% of respondents
accordingly
 voted for them.
According to
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 the costs of each
courses
Change to a singular noun
course
show examples
 should be shared between 3 people. 40% and 35% of the cost should be shared
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the individual and employer
accordingly
while
taxpayer
Correct article usage
the taxpayer
show examples
 should be responsible only for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 quarter of it. #sevara #day2
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task response
Ensure that the response addresses the specific task prompt and fully develops an argument if required, rather than just describing data.
structure
Create a more cohesive essay structure, starting with an introductory paragraph that outlines the main points, followed by body paragraphs for each point, and concluding with a summarizing paragraph.
cohesion
Connect ideas and paragraphs with transitional phrases to guide the reader smoothly through the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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