Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
This
essay discuss
different Change the verb form
discusses
perpectives
of Correct your spelling
perspectives
dependency
of Correct article usage
the dependency
people
in the modren
world which actually influence by Correct your spelling
modern
the
modern technologies and innovation. The Correct article usage
apply
writter
Correct your spelling
writer
writers
try
to present both views and elaborate based on personal point of view.
Nowadays in the modern Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
wolrd
where Correct your spelling
world
technology
is the center of human activities
, people
tends
to do many Change the verb form
tend
activities
at fast
speed. There are many Correct article usage
a fast
technology
that now can connect Change to a plural noun
technologies
people
in
Change preposition
on
daily
basis, Correct article usage
a daily
such
as social media, e-commerce, and fast
amount of apps developed currently. Correct article usage
a fast
This
means that people
can be connected easily with other
either to do Correct determiner usage
each other
activities
collectively or to help each other necessity. That is
one of Add an article
the reason
reason
that modern Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
are said to be more dependent on each other.
On the other side, the technology
itself also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
people
to become more independent in doing their daily activities
. They
able to get information independently and Add a verb
They are
They were
this
increase
their individual capacities. But Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
that is
actually because the
Correct article usage
apply
people
get help from other people
who are relatively far from them through technology
. So the independent
of modern Replace the word
independence
people
actually is just a reformation to new
way of Add an article
a new
the new
dependency
helped by technology
and seen by
a different perspective. Change preposition
from
For
example
a family who Add a comma
example,
are
living far away from their origin place might be seen as independent from the perspective of their relatives in the origin village but what actually Change the verb form
is
happen
is that Change the verb form
happens
family
get help from Correct article usage
the family
people
in their neighborhood
.
In a nutshell, Change the spelling
neighbourhood
technology
has influenced how people
are connected to each other in the modern world. People
tends
to Change the verb form
tend
do
be connected easily with others to do Unnecessary verb
apply
activities
collectively or getting help from others who are also
connected via technology
. So the dependency
of modern people
are
actually a reformation concept of the old Change the verb form
is
dependency
. Technological advancements have undeniably increased individual capacities, but the complexity of global challenges requires collective solutions.Submitted by mutiaraardian56 on
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task achievement
The essay adequately attempts to address the question, but there is room for improvement in fleshing out the examples and the argument. To fully respond to the task, ensure that the response gives a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before coming to a clear, well-supported conclusion on the candidate's own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally presents ideas in a sequence. However, the coherence and cohesion can be significantly improved. Logical links between ideas need to be more explicit. To enhance cohesion, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences that clearly indicate the main idea of each paragraph.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?