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Band 4.5

These days students prefer to live on campus while studying at college or university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#students #campus #college #university #trend
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In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days, many learners prefer to live
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 hostels
while
 pursuing at college or
university
. There are some
benefits
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 phenomenon
such
 as reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travel
time
 and students might be independent without family support,
although
, it has some
drawbacks
 too.
This
 essay shall discuss it briefly for the following reasons. On the
one
 hand, staying
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
university
 premises
while
 studying has multifarious
benefits
 to the learners.
One
 of the main
benefits
 is that it can reduce the
travel
time
 of students which
is
Verb problem
means
show examples
 they can
be invested
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
 that
time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
.
For example
,
a
Correct word choice
if a
show examples
learner has to
travel
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
 than
one
 hour to reach his college, he will be exhausted by
travel
,
thus
, it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 less
concentrate
Replace the word
concentration
show examples
 and interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
classroom
Add an article
the classroom
show examples
. Another benefit is that the student will have a
chane
Correct your spelling
chance
 to live independently without family support,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will help to manage all their work
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 own.
Therefore
, studying
while
 staying
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
university
 premises has more
benefits
.
On the other hand
,
this
 trend has some disadvantages.
One
 of the main
drawbacks
 is that students might be indulged
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
 inappropriate activities like drinking and smoking when they are staying at
university
 hostels because no
one
check
Change the verb form
checks
show examples
 on them what they do.
For instance
, the learners might adhere
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
 bad
beahviours
Correct your spelling
behaviours
behaviour
 from fellow
hostelmeds
Correct your spelling
hostel mess
. Another disadvantage is that some pupils are attached
emotionly
Correct your spelling
emotionally
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their family members
while
Correct word choice
which
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may
affect
Verb problem
cause
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homesickness and cultural shock, and
as a result
, it can
be affected
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
 the
student's
Change noun form
students'
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
To conclude
, there are various
benefits
 and
drawbacks
 of staying
hostels
Change preposition
in hostels
show examples
while
 studying at college as mentioned in the aforementioned details. Reducing
travel
time
 and
might live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 independently are the
benefits
, affecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homesickness and cultural shock
as well as
indulged
Wrong verb form
indulging
show examples
 inappropriate behaviour are the
drawbacks
 of
this
 phenomenon.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical flow of ideas by connecting sentences and paragraphs more smoothly using a variety of linking words and cohesive devices. This will help to maintain the reader's interest and understanding throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that are clearly distinct from the body paragraphs. The introduction should outline the main points without going into detail, and the conclusion should summarise the main ideas presented. Avoid introducing new information in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point with specific details and examples that are relevant to the question. Provide evidence or explanations for the advantages and disadvantages discussed, which will enhance the quality of the argument and the overall essay.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task prompt. While your essay touched on advantages and disadvantages, delving deeper into each point with more elaboration would make for a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive. Some sentences or thoughts may require further explanation to be fully understood by the reader. Aim for clarity to improve the persuasiveness and readability of your essay.
task achievement
Use specific, relevant examples to support your points. The examples provided are somewhat general and could be more detailed to illustrate your arguments effectively and prove your understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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