Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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One school of thought holds that

instead

Linking Words

of wasting the budget on

space

Use synonyms

discovery, it has more benefits for the nation if the government allocates their funds to other purposes. I totally disagree with the statement, and I would argue that the expense of money spent on the exploration of spaces has multiple benefits. I disagree with the aforementioned idea that researching information about the universe consumes a country's funds;

in contrast

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, it has a positive impact on scientific progress.

This

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due to

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the fact that there are a lot of advanced inventions that are popular in today’s

world

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as a result

Linking Words

space

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discovery,

such

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as water filtration systems, handheld vacuum cleaners, and even thermal blankets.

For instance

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, a thermal blanket is formed by thin metal sheets so as to keep warm in harsh weather conditions and is inspired by the thin insulation panel technology that NASA made for astronauts and spacecraft.

Such

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a benefit can be especially important worldwide,

while

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it is

Change the article

apply

show examples

proof that represents a positive development.

This

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can result in finding out that our universe is one of the aspects needed to determine the development scale of a nation, so the

development

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developed

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country can

be boosted

Wrong verb form

boost

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the economy.

Furthermore

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, studying

space

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plays a key role in tackling environmental issues. Elaborately, with the efforts that the astronauts obtained through researching the

space

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projects, they were able to

early

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apply

show examples

determine the potential dangers that are occurring in the

world

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such

Linking Words

as global warming and the reduction of ozone layers.

As a result

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, when scientists can predict the

prospect

Replace the word

prospective

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risks that the

world

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are

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show examples

facing, they can easily introduce several approaches with the aim of addressing these issues. In short, the

space

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exploration fund is well spent as a long-term investment. In conclusion, I firmly disagree with the above opinion that money spent on

space

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research is a complete waste because the project has long-term benefits for

global

Add an article

a global

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society, including the advancement of science and preventing negative impacts on the

world

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that it is becoming

more and more better

Change the word

better and better

better

show examples

huoglan10Fri Dec 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

When constructing your essay, ensure that your ideas connect logically to form a cohesive argument. Transitions between paragraphs should be smooth and contribute to the overall flow of your narrative. To improve, practice using a variety of transitional phrases and linking words to demonstrate clear relationships between concepts.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are essential components of your essay as they provide the first and final impressions. Both should clearly reflect your stance on the topic. Make sure your introduction outlines the main points, and your conclusion definitively restates your position and summarizes your argument without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. While you included some examples, delve deeper by explaining how these specifically support your argument. Further details, facts, or studies will strengthen your claims and provide a more persuasive essay. Avoid general statements and strive for precision and relevance in your supporting details.

task achievement

Ensure your essay comprehensively addresses all parts of the task. Your position should be clear throughout the essay, and your argument must be well-developed. Expand on your ideas to fully explore the implications and justify your opinion. Furthermore, avoid straying into tangential topics, and keep your focus on the prompts given to show that you can maintain task achievement.

task achievement

Your essay must convey clear and comprehensive ideas that relate directly to the task at hand. It appears you understand the topic well, but to enhance your score, avoid repetition and redundancy. Focus on expanding individual points comprehensively rather than asserting the same idea in different words.

task achievement

The examples you provide should be relevant and specific to the argument you are making. It's encouraging to see that you integrated examples in your essay; however, continue to practice how to tie these examples more closely to your main points, thereby solidifying your argument. Quantitative data or noteworthy studies can significantly support your examples.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

complete waste
benefit the nation
technological advancements
foster
international cooperation
inspire
engage
boost the economy
long-term benefits

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