Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
One school of thought holds that
instead
of wasting the budget on space
discovery, it has more benefits for the nation if the government allocates their funds to other purposes. I totally disagree with the statement, and I would argue that the expense of money spent on the exploration of spaces has multiple benefits.
I disagree with the aforementioned idea that researching information about the universe consumes a country's funds; in contrast
, it has a positive impact on scientific progress. This
is due to
the fact that there are a lot of advanced inventions that are popular in today’s world
as a result
of space
discovery, such
as water filtration systems, handheld vacuum cleaners, and even thermal blankets. For instance
, a thermal blanket is formed by thin metal sheets so as to keep warm in harsh weather conditions and is inspired by the thin insulation panel technology that NASA made for astronauts and spacecraft. Such
a benefit can be especially important worldwide, while
it is a
proof that represents a positive development. Change the article
apply
This
can result in finding out that our universe is one of the aspects needed to determine the development scale of a nation, so the development
country can Replace the word
developed
be boosted
the economy.
Wrong verb form
boost
Furthermore
, studying space
plays a key role in tackling environmental issues. Elaborately, with the efforts that the astronauts obtained through researching the space
projects, they were able to early
determine the potential dangers that are occurring in the Rephrase
apply
world
, such
as global warming and the reduction of ozone layers. As a result
, when scientists can predict the prospect
risks that the Replace the word
prospective
world
are
facing, they can easily introduce several approaches with the aim of addressing these issues. In short, the Change the verb form
is
space
exploration fund is well spent as a long-term investment.
In conclusion, I firmly disagree with the above opinion that money spent on space
research is a complete waste because the project has long-term benefits for global
society, including the advancement of science and preventing negative impacts on the Add an article
a global
world
,
so that it is becoming Remove the comma
apply
more and more better
.Change the word
better and better
better
Submitted by huoglan10 on
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coherence cohesion
When constructing your essay, ensure that your ideas connect logically to form a cohesive argument. Transitions between paragraphs should be smooth and contribute to the overall flow of your narrative. To improve, practice using a variety of transitional phrases and linking words to demonstrate clear relationships between concepts.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are essential components of your essay as they provide the first and final impressions. Both should clearly reflect your stance on the topic. Make sure your introduction outlines the main points, and your conclusion definitively restates your position and summarizes your argument without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. While you included some examples, delve deeper by explaining how these specifically support your argument. Further details, facts, or studies will strengthen your claims and provide a more persuasive essay. Avoid general statements and strive for precision and relevance in your supporting details.
task achievement
Ensure your essay comprehensively addresses all parts of the task. Your position should be clear throughout the essay, and your argument must be well-developed. Expand on your ideas to fully explore the implications and justify your opinion. Furthermore, avoid straying into tangential topics, and keep your focus on the prompts given to show that you can maintain task achievement.
task achievement
Your essay must convey clear and comprehensive ideas that relate directly to the task at hand. It appears you understand the topic well, but to enhance your score, avoid repetition and redundancy. Focus on expanding individual points comprehensively rather than asserting the same idea in different words.
task achievement
The examples you provide should be relevant and specific to the argument you are making. It's encouraging to see that you integrated examples in your essay; however, continue to practice how to tie these examples more closely to your main points, thereby solidifying your argument. Quantitative data or noteworthy studies can significantly support your examples.
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