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In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

#societies #people #retirement #homes #families #care #members
It is improper to let aged
people
 stay in retirement homes
instead
 of their families in many societies. I agree with
this
 statement.
However
, it still depends on the health condition of the retired
people
. In my opinion, living at
home
 gives
people
 a sense of safety.
Home
 is the best place to relax and take a rest. There are completely different
that
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the relationship between old
people
 and service providers compared to their relationship with their children or grandchildren, even though it is not professional. They would feel more love and
care
 when living with their family. Some argue that the families are busy and lack time to take
care
 of seniors. If
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 members are still in good health, it won’t be a problem.
On the contrary
, if they are unhealthy, they should consider whether to stay at
home
.
On the other hand
, it’s an uphill battle for seniors to get used to the new environment without their friends, which affects their emotions. Following negative emotions, some research studies show that diseases usually come with depression;
this
 would happen if one couldn’t get used to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement homes. Yet it is more convenient to seek nursing
care
 in the
care
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
;
as a result
, it is a better choice for those whose children lack
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
 or usually need medical help.
In addition
, it is to remind them to visit their parents or grandparents frequently. In conclusion, if the seniors are suffering from diseases, living in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 retirement
home
 is acceptable;
otherwise
, it is more appropriate to live in their own
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
Submitted by annlin900116 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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