The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line diagram displayed the percentage of households with various types of technology in the U.S. for four years. Looking at the data in more detail, the washing machine was the highest, it gradually climbed until 1999. The computer is the second highest, and it
also
increased at a similar rate
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the washing machine, yet it was overtaken by the phone before 1999. The percentage of the phone was quite low in the first year, it slowly went up in 1996,
then
it sharply climbed to about 45
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in two years, following a noticeable increase in 1999. The
DVD
player
was the only one dropped in the period of 1995 to 1996.
However
, it started to grow again after reaching
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
low, around 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The purple line which represented the Internet was the lowest in the first year,
then
it hit the same number as the
DVD
player
, they showed a slight rise in the meanwhile.
Finally
, the Internet surpassed the
DVD
player
after 1998. In conclusion, obviously, all the lines represent the upward trend. The washing machine was the most popular household during the period. The
DVD
player
became the lowest percentage even though it was still increasing
at the end
of the time.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words dvd, player with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Households
  • Technology adoption
  • Growth rate
  • Decline rate
  • Milestones
  • Obsolete
  • Societal factors
  • Economic conditions
  • Advancements
  • Consumer preferences
  • Market saturation
  • Trend analysis
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