It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that
risk
-taking have
a crucial effect on our career and personal life choices. Change the verb form
has
Although
,
there are some defects Remove the comma
apply
on
our health, I strongly believe that Change preposition
in
risk
-taking have
far more pluses Change the verb form
has
on
our growth.
One of the main drawbacks of taking high-stakes professional Change preposition
in
risks
is the potential cause of health issues such
as stress and anxiety. The main reason for this
phenomenon is that the body tends to release high amounts of special hormones in Correct article usage
the risk-taking
risk-taking
process, especially if Correct article usage
the risk-taking
Correct article usage
the risk
risk
is uncalculated and the outcome is uncertain. Correct article usage
the risk
This
hormones prompt an increase Change the determiner
These
of
the heart rate and blood pressure, persistent elevation of which can cause Change preposition
in
the
chronic stress and heart problems. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, the
significant amount of gamblers, who are constant Correct article usage
a
risk
takers, are having cardio problems as well as
problems with depression. That is
why most of them in the end are becoming broke and live much smaller compared to others, which is making a lots
of people believe that it is not worth taking Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
risks
at all.
However
, if the risks
are taking
correctly and are certain it can have major benefits in Wrong verb form
taken
learning
and growth process of the person. Taking Correct article usage
the learning
risks
often requires a person to step outside of the
comfort zone and face new challenges and experiences. To overcome those hurdles person will need to acquire new skills, and push himself to the limit of his abilities, seeing Change the word
their
her
his
true
potential of his abilities. With Add an article
the true
this
type of risks
, people are gaining valuable experiences, fostering professional development Fix the agreement mistake
risk
and
developing resilience and building confidence in life’s uncertainties which in the future can lead to potential success. Indeed, the majority of successful entrepreneurs took many high stakes Correct word choice
apply
risk
throughout their Fix the agreement mistake
risks
career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
For example
, Elon Musk in
the start of his career spent most of his Change preposition
at
many
on launching SpaceX taking a huge financial Correct your spelling
money
risk
.
In conclusion, despite some negligible downsides of risk taking
on health, I strongly believe that the benefits of Add a hyphen
risk-taking
risks
on our growth by far exceed this downsides
. Change the determiner
this downside
these downsides
Thus
, we shouldn’t fear taking risks
but instead
take more often to foster our development.Submitted by abdullaevayt on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are logically structured and ideas flow seamlessly. Use a wider range of cohesive devices for better coherence.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task thoroughly and make sure to support your arguments with relevant examples throughout. Maintain a balance between the advantages and disadvantages to ensure a well-rounded essay.