Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however,think that other types of progress are equality important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#goverments #progress #people #equality #country

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Nowadays ,governments have shaped their own thoughts and actions regarding economic

progress

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as the first priority,

however

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, some believe all aspects of

progress

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have not been achieved through having a good budget for each person ,

while

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economic

progress

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is a challenging topic to address welfare in human

life

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through having high standards staff for individuals that eager to build on their society and personal

life

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in a same

time

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, so,there are many benefits in

this

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view to do some actions for better income and spending in a correct way in comparing others and ,it is so clear new inventions ,

last

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updates products like robots that can clean homes ,make a cup of coffee , and some research AI engines are a source of acceleration to find a better solution and convenient living ,

however

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, our brain and body could avoid burnout activities that might harmful for a long lifespan,but, our performances as a human might decreasing gradually because the human capacity to adapt with speed changes is limited . On

another side

Correct your spelling

the other hand

show examples

, there are many ideas that economic flourishment is the only factor for having a developed country and each government must be aware of the whole

life

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of own citizens like education

progress

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and updating curriculum on

time

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according to

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changes in needs and expectations of global attitude ,

in addition

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, having essential infrastructure for building ways for transportation or sustainable city plan or high quality in healthcare services need to natural resources ,

besides

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,a healthy population

that is

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be able to work well ,and I believe economic

progress

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would not achievable if each society has not a correct cultural foundation ,

for example

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, values and beliefs run out in our decision and might be a source of destruction everything in our

life

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or can push a good motivation in our daily

life

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and It has not ignorable the backbone of culture passed a long

time

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and it would not achieve in a short

time

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and government could not buy cultural foundation for their country . In conclusion , economic

progress

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is the meaning of how each population spend their own

time

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to have a better

life

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quality

according to

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updates that individual

have

Change the verb form

has

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seen around the world ,

while

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the different aspects of

progress

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is another meaning to building a society for living in a best and convenient way and the

last

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one needs to the cultural foundation and first one need to natural resources and have

Change the article

the

show examples

knowledge to handle and distribute a budget in each section of the country .

Submitted by h.ebrahimi66 on Fri Dec 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

It is essential to structure your essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs that each center on a single main idea, and a conclusion that summarizes your points and states your opinion without introducing new information. Your essay lacked a clear introductory paragraph and conclusion, making it difficult to follow.

coherence cohesion

Logical connectors and transition phrases should be used throughout the essay to guide the reader from one idea to the next. Your use of cohesive devices was minimal, leading to a series of disjointed sentences. This detracts from the overall coherence of the essay.

task achievement

Main points should be developed with specific examples and clear explanations. The essay presented some ideas relevant to the prompt, but the supporting arguments and examples were not always fully fleshed out or directly related to your main points.

task achievement

Relevant and specific examples are required to adequately support your arguments. While the essay did reference certain concepts like AI and cultural foundation, these examples were not developed enough to clearly demonstrate how they support the respective views on progress.

task achievement

The clarity of your ideas is paramount to effective communication. While your essay addresses the prompt, the writing sometimes lacks precision and clarity, making it difficult for the reader to understand your points. Endeavor to express your ideas clearly and directly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

423 words

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Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however,think that other types of progress are equality important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Developing countries require internation organizations' help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better

In many countries government spend a lot of money on arts. However, some think government should spend more on health and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?