Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however,think that other types of progress are equality important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Nowadays ,governments have shaped their own thoughts and actions regarding economic
progress
as the first priority, however
, some believe all aspects of progress
have not been achieved through having a good budget for each person ,while
economic progress
is a challenging topic to address welfare in human life
through having high standards staff for individuals that eager to build on their society and personal life
in a same time
, so,there are many benefits in this
view to do some actions for better income and spending in a correct way in comparing others and ,it is so clear new inventions , last
updates products like robots that can clean homes ,make a cup of coffee , and some research AI engines are a source of acceleration to find a better solution and convenient living ,however
, our brain and body could avoid burnout activities that might harmful for a long lifespan,but, our performances as a human might decreasing gradually because the human capacity to adapt with speed changes is limited .
On another side
, there are many ideas that economic flourishment is the only factor for having a developed country and each government must be aware of the whole Correct your spelling
the other hand
life
of own citizens like education progress
and updating curriculum on time
according to
changes in needs and expectations of global attitude ,in addition
, having essential infrastructure for building ways for transportation or sustainable city plan or high quality in healthcare services need to natural resources ,besides
,a healthy population that is
be able to work well ,and I believe economic progress
would not achievable if each society has not a correct cultural foundation ,for example
, values and beliefs run out in our decision and might be a source of destruction everything in our life
or can push a good motivation in our daily life
and It has not ignorable the backbone of culture passed a long time
and it would not achieve in a short time
and government could not buy cultural foundation for their country .
In conclusion , economic progress
is the meaning of how each population spend their own time
to have a better life
quality according to
updates that individual have
seen around the world ,Change the verb form
has
while
the different aspects of progress
is another meaning to building a society for living in a best and convenient way and the last
one needs to the cultural foundation and first one need to natural resources and have a
knowledge to handle and distribute a budget in each section of the country .Change the article
the
Submitted by h.ebrahimi66 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
It is essential to structure your essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs that each center on a single main idea, and a conclusion that summarizes your points and states your opinion without introducing new information. Your essay lacked a clear introductory paragraph and conclusion, making it difficult to follow.
coherence cohesion
Logical connectors and transition phrases should be used throughout the essay to guide the reader from one idea to the next. Your use of cohesive devices was minimal, leading to a series of disjointed sentences. This detracts from the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Main points should be developed with specific examples and clear explanations. The essay presented some ideas relevant to the prompt, but the supporting arguments and examples were not always fully fleshed out or directly related to your main points.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are required to adequately support your arguments. While the essay did reference certain concepts like AI and cultural foundation, these examples were not developed enough to clearly demonstrate how they support the respective views on progress.
task achievement
The clarity of your ideas is paramount to effective communication. While your essay addresses the prompt, the writing sometimes lacks precision and clarity, making it difficult for the reader to understand your points. Endeavor to express your ideas clearly and directly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.