IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what coule be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

#year #crime #rate #increases #coule #rise #activity
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Nowadays,
it is clear that
 crimes
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
 significantly worldwide.In
this
 essay , I would like to mention
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
show examples
 and suggest proper solutions to solve
this
 problem. On one hand , the most noticeable observation is that unemployment
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lead
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leads
show examples
 people to search
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 money for
living
Correct article usage
a living
show examples
 .
Therefore
 , with the lack of
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 and
suffer
Wrong verb form
suffering
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of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 having
daialy
Correct your spelling
daily
 needs
such
 as food and house. So, people feel anger in
cruel
Correct article usage
a cruel
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 life , being homeless
within
Change preposition
during
show examples
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
show examples
 crisis . That means , start to steal goods for
purpose
Correct article usage
the purpose
show examples
 of living . To solve
this
 problem,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 has to collect and classify them and provide suitable
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and support them and
keel
Correct your spelling
keep
show examples
observe
Wrong verb form
observing
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 annually .
On the other hand
, another cause worth
to mention
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mentioning
show examples
 is that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 has
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 policy toward criminal
issuer
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issuers
show examples
. For
inestance
Correct your spelling
instance
, lack
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 rules and punishment which means every
peropn
Correct your spelling
person
 has to do any kind of harsh action
such
 as
kill
Wrong verb form
killing
show examples
 and slab without any justice . As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
 , chaos and unsafe
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
.
However
,
this
 cause has to be prevented
immedialty
Correct your spelling
immediately
 to preserve
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 . Apparently, these days all countries are in
completion
Correct your spelling
competition
show examples
 to
be developed
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 one by
implement
Change the verb form
implementing
show examples
 regulations. In conclusion , I firmly support crime prevention.
However
, from my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
 poverty is the most factories that
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 people to do
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 for money .
Submitted by dr.marwa on

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structure
Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is developed and not just mentioned in passing.
cohesion
As an examiner, I must highlight the importance of coherence in your essay. Ideas should be logically organized and paragraphs should follow each other in a way that makes sense. Transitions between paragraphs need to be smooth.
development
Ideas should be expanded with explanations and examples. Avoid general statements and strive to make each point clearly and fully.
task response
Make sure to address all parts of the task and provide a detailed response. Both causes and solutions should be discussed comprehensively.
language
Use a range of vocabulary, but make sure that word choice is appropriate and the meaning is clear. Avoid evident spelling and grammar mistakes, as they can hinder communication.
grammar
It is essential to proofread your essay to correct any grammatical errors, usage of incorrect prepositions, missing articles, and issues with sentence structure and punctuation, as these mistakes can significantly impact your score.
sentence variety
Try to display a variety of complex sentence structures. While simple sentences are clear, relying on them heavily can limit the expression of ideas and reduce the overall score.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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