Eating too much sugar is harmful for health.Some think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption,while other people believe it is individual’s responsibility .Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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Excessive
sugar
intake is a terrible habit that will cause various chronic diseases. Some people
argue that it is the government
's task to limit
sugar
consumption
, while
others think everyone should be responsible for their own health. This
essay will try to discuss this
matter from both views.
Sugar
has been the main source of energy in some places. Rice, which is rich in carbohydrates, is the main food in some countries. Those who are used to consuming a certain amount of rice on a daily basis might not have enough energy when they need to limit
it. However
, it is everyone's responsibility to take care of their own health. People
might start reducing their daily portion of rice, or start to limit
their sugar
intake by changing their source of energy. Although
it might be hard at the beginning, it will get easier after some time. So, self-discipline and awareness towards the harmful things that sugar
might do to people
's health are required in this
case.
To help society become more aware of the dangerous results of uncontrolled sugar
consumption
, the government
also
needs to take some part in it. In my opinion, the easiest thing that can be done firstly
is to do a mass socialization about how harmful it could be and promote a healthier lifestyle. Other than that, the government
may also
increase the taxes on sugary products, or set some additional regulations about sugar
in the food industry. By limiting the source of sugar
, people
can limit
their sugar
consumption
and start to eat healthier food.
Even though it might be hard to do a zero-sugar
lifestyle, people
really need to start considering limiting their sugar
intake and have more awareness of the damage that could be done. With the help from the government
, I am positive that everyone can do a healthier diet. The shared responsibility between the government
and individuals will make an effective management of sugar
consumption
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Consider including a more definitive introduction and conclusion, with a clear thesis statement outlining your essay's structure and a summarizing end that restates your opinion and the key points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by specific examples or arguments. Avoid general statements and strive to provide evidence or detailed reasoning for each point you make.
task achievement
Your essay should thoroughly address all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion of both views and your own opinion. Make sure to develop each point sufficiently, offering explicit arguments and examples that directly relate to the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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