The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives, to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

As we can see, the development of
science
has greatly changed our lifestyle, brought us convenience, happiness and so on.
Therefore
, recently
science
has become a significant topic, and some people firmly insist that the most important target of
science
should be to improve people's lives. Towards to the issue, I wholeheartedly agree with
this
point of view.
Science
has brought numerous incredible achievements to human beings, that have completely changed our daily life. Among countless factors which influence my decision, there are two conspicuous aspects.
Firstly
, the main reason for my propensity is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the difference between modern society and ancient society.
For example
, in the ancient world, the only two ways for people to travel around were walking and horse riding, which took plenty of time.
However
, nowadays we can take planes or trains
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere, the time would be less than two or three days, from which we can tell there is a huge gap between before and now.
Furthermore
,
science
also
brings us more and more convenience,
for example
, smartphones have largely decreased the moment we spend on communication, messages or daily activities. We can send a message to our families or friends in 5 seconds, or we can order groceries delivered from a superstore
instead
of wasting
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of time travelling, parking and picking. In conclusion, technique can shorten the moment that we used to take.
To sum up
, from what
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has been discussed above, we may reasonably come to the conclusion that
science
has deeply improved our lifestyle, it is the most important and most valuable target for the development of technology.
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task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the question and includes relevant examples to support the main points. However, make sure to cover the topic more comprehensively by addressing any potential counterarguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay can be improved by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong and clearly present your stance. However, make sure the body paragraphs are equally well-developed to support these sections.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, helping to illustrate the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, clearly presenting your point of view and summarizing the discussion.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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