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Band 3

Many social media accounts are fake? What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

#media #accounts
Many fraudulent accounts on social networking sites have become an issue
now-a-days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
.
This
 can lead to misguidance of online followers.
However
,
this
 problem can be tackled by implementing some security features in the concerned online
media
 platforms and providing education about
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 fake profiles to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Most of the accounts on social
media
 are fabricated and used on several online networking sites
such
 as Instagram, Twitter and so on.
This
 has led numerous
people
follow
Fix the infinitive
to follow
show examples
 these fake profiles unknowingly, and
thus
, misleading them in various ways.
For instance
,
people
 in India
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 witnessed some of the scams in the past years. These fake account holders have been asking for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial support for getting the treatment done for some fake disability which they portray on social
media
.
Furthermore
, I believe that the solution to
this
 problem could be that the owner of
specific
Add an article
the specific
a specific
show examples
 online platform must provide some protective features.
While
 creating an account, the individual should provide genuine scanned documents in order to
log-in
Correct your spelling
log in
show examples
.
Additionally
, educating
people
 about
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 scams could
also
 benefit them
not
Change preposition
in not
show examples
to trust on
Change the verb form
trusting
show examples
 any fake identities. In conclusion, having fake
user-id's
Verb problem
users
show examples
 on the internet can mislead
people
,and
hence
,
people
 easily get trapped in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scams. I consider that enabling some secure features in social
media
 apps and educating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society about the fabricated profiles could be beneficial to tackle
this
 problem.
Submitted by ayesha.sidiqa21 on

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task achievement
Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines the scope of your essay. Ensure that you include a concise thesis statement, summarizing the problems and solutions you intend to discuss.
task achievement
While you have addressed the topics, the depth of your explanations and the development of your ideas could be improved. For higher marks, ensure your response is fully developed and includes a range of ideas and examples.
coherence and cohesion
You need to work on organizing your ideas more logically. While there was a general structure, the flow from one idea to the next was not seamless. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the logical sequencing of information.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion is present but rests heavily on restating the essay prompt rather than summarizing your arguments. For a higher score, ensure your conclusion succinctly encapsulates the key issues discussed and reiterates your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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