Preventiin is better than cure Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?
Spending
small
amount of money to stay healthy is better than spending a huge amount of money for medications to restore Add an article
a small
tto
Correct your spelling
to
health
.This
essay agrees with this
ideas
because being aware and responsible Fix the agreement mistake
idea
of
Change preposition
for
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
preventation
can Correct your spelling
prevention
ptotect
Correct your spelling
protect
people
from getting physical and emotional suffering and this
Correct your spelling
thus
reduce
the strain on the Change the verb form
reduces
health
services budget.
People
who try to keep themselves healthey
and fit are less likely to get sick.Being careless in well being of your self can make you very ill as Correct your spelling
healthy
the
result you can feel pain,ach,and hurt in your body and upset,sad,Correct article usage
a
depression
and regretfulnessReplace the word
depressed
emotionally
.Rephrase
apply
For example
,a lot of people
from uk
who Correct your spelling
UK
don
not Correct your spelling
do
followed
the Wrong verb form
follow
preventation
measures of Correct your spelling
preventative
prevention
Coronaviruse
got sick Correct your spelling
coronavirus
easly
and put enormous pressure Correct your spelling
easily
in
hospitals.
Another reason why Change preposition
on
people
have to focus from
being infected is to help to reduce the expenses.Men and Women who get stoppable illnesses Change preposition
on
they
have to go hospital more regularly for treatment and Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
put
a large strain Wrong verb form
puts
in
the Change preposition
on
health
service budget.For example
,large
proportion of the United Kingdom's national Add an article
a large
health
service allowance is spent on preventable obesity related
diseases like diabetes and heart Add a hyphen
obesity-related
attakck
.
In conclusion,the amount of money and time spent Correct your spelling
attack
attacks
inorder
to stop diseases is more cheaper,Correct your spelling
in order
easy
and satisfactory than treating,Replace the word
easier
researching
illnesses,and I,Correct word choice
and researching
therefore
,believe that HHS should promote and encourage people
in
keep Change preposition
to
them selves
away from infections.Correct your spelling
themselves
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear overall argument structure, with each paragraph logically following from the one before. Your paragraphs appear to be somewhat related, but stronger transitions and more explicit connections between ideas will help to enhance coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. The introduction should more explicitly outline the essay's forthcoming points, and the conclusion should do more than restate the introduction; it should synthesize the main points in a compelling way.
Coherence & Cohesion
Main points are present, but they require better support and development. Ensure you expand on your ideas with detailed explanations and more relevant examples.
Task Achievement
You've provided a response to the task prompt, but the response lacks depth in places. Make sure to fully explore the implications and reasons behind your argument, and offer a detailed discussion that demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Ideas are present but not thoroughly developed or clearly expressed at times. Aim for a comprehensive exploration of each point, ensuring clarity of expression and thoroughness in your treatment of each part of the argument.
Task Achievement
Specific examples are included but could be more effectively used. To strengthen your essay, incorporate examples that are directly relevant and that clearly illustrate your arguments and assertions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.