Some people believe that children should attend extra classes after school while some disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

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One of the most discussed issues nowadays is
education
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the education
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of new generations. It is undeniable that
knowledge
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become
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
part of our life.
However
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, there is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
absolute agreement on whether
children
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should attend extra classes after school in order to
study
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hardly
Rephrase
hard
show examples
. Commonly held belief that
children
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get all important
knowledge
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and experiences from school. As evidence of
this
Linking Words
they point to subjects that they
study
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is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
enough
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
quality
knowledge
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. Because government pay
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
amount of money given that they want
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
qualificated
Correct your spelling
qualified
young people.
Furthermore
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, they consider that
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
should give more attention if someone
losing
Wrong verb form
is lost
show examples
in any field.
As their
Correct word choice
Their
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work
contain
Verb problem
ranges
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from
sopporting
Correct your spelling
supporting
children
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to conquering new heights. Accounting
Linking Words
Change preposition
for this
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this informations
Change the determiner
this information
these informations
show examples
we can understand that
children
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have all things to good and quality
knowledge
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.
On the other hand
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, others believe that extra lessons are vital for juniors if
purpose
Correct pronoun usage
their purpose
show examples
to
grant
Wrong verb form
granted
show examples
very-well
Correct your spelling
very well
show examples
.
For instance
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, extra classes which more attend on one field and
also
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for the child helps them improve their
knowledge
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, since
theirtime
Correct your spelling
their time
and attention will be narrow and more quality.
Moreover
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, they think that
children
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who
study
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more will
have
Verb problem
be
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more
inteligent
Correct your spelling
intelligent
and they
also
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point
that
Change preposition
out that
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this child
these children
show examples
children
Use synonyms
can cope with obstacles very well ,given that they learned merely more than others. In conclusion, taking all of
this
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data mentioned previously I argue that
knowledge
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from school is enough, given that young
children
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wouldn't
study
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more.
As well as
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I think sometimes extra classes could be
adviseable
Correct your spelling
advisable
show examples
because young generations can improve a field where they are weaker than
another fields
Replace the adjective
another field
other fields
show examples
. So
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
also
Linking Words
merely
obsses
Correct your spelling
obsess
bosses
on
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
on whether he or she
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to
study
Use synonyms
or not.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clarity and coherence in various aspects. It is crucial to organize your ideas logically, making sure each paragraph includes a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences. Transition signals and a variety of cohesive devices can enhance coherence. Work on structuring paragraphs effectively with topic sentences and developing each point sufficiently before moving to the next.
task achievement
To fully meet the task achievement criteria, it's imperative to respond completely to all parts of the task. Your essay should clearly present a discussion of both views and elucidate your own opinion. Ensure that your response is well-developed, covering all aspects in a balanced way, and wherever possible, support your points with relevant, specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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