Some people believe that children should attend extra classes after school while some disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.
One of the most discussed issues nowadays is
education
of new generations. It is undeniable that Add an article
the education
knowledge
become essential
part of our life. Add an article
an essential
However
, there is not
absolute agreement on whether Correct your spelling
no
children
should attend extra classes after school in order to study
hardly
.
Commonly held belief that Rephrase
hard
children
get all important knowledge
and experiences from school. As evidence of this
they point to subjects that they study
is
enough Correct your spelling
as
for getting
quality Change preposition
to get
knowledge
. Because government pay significant
amount of money given that they want Add an article
a significant
high
Replace the word
highly
qualificated
young people. Correct your spelling
qualified
Furthermore
, they consider that teacher
should give more attention if someone Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
losing
in any field. Wrong verb form
is lost
As their
work Correct word choice
Their
contain
from Verb problem
ranges
sopporting
Correct your spelling
supporting
children
to conquering new heights. Accounting Change preposition
for this
this informations
we can understand that Change the determiner
this information
these informations
children
have all things to good and quality knowledge
.
On the other hand
, others believe that extra lessons are vital for juniors if purpose
to Correct pronoun usage
their purpose
grant
Wrong verb form
granted
very-well
. Correct your spelling
very well
For instance
, extra classes which more attend on one field and also
for the child helps them improve their knowledge
, since theirtime
and attention will be narrow and more quality. Correct your spelling
their time
Moreover
, they think that children
who study
more will have
more Verb problem
be
inteligent
and they Correct your spelling
intelligent
also
point that
Change preposition
out that
this
Change the determiner
this child
these children
children
can cope with obstacles very well ,given that they learned merely more than others.
In conclusion, taking all of this
data mentioned previously I argue that knowledge
from school is enough, given that young children
wouldn't study
more. As well as
I think sometimes extra classes could be adviseable
because young generations can improve a field where they are weaker than Correct your spelling
advisable
another fields
. So Replace the adjective
another field
other fields
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
also
merely obsses
on Correct your spelling
obsess
bosses
child
on whether he or she Add an article
the child
a child
want
to Change the verb form
wants
study
or not.Submitted by aikumarbekarys on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clarity and coherence in various aspects. It is crucial to organize your ideas logically, making sure each paragraph includes a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences. Transition signals and a variety of cohesive devices can enhance coherence. Work on structuring paragraphs effectively with topic sentences and developing each point sufficiently before moving to the next.
task achievement
To fully meet the task achievement criteria, it's imperative to respond completely to all parts of the task. Your essay should clearly present a discussion of both views and elucidate your own opinion. Ensure that your response is well-developed, covering all aspects in a balanced way, and wherever possible, support your points with relevant, specific examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.