The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#growth #shops #towns #cities

The growth of online shopping brings us a convenient life

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

we can access commodities anywhere just using our cell phones. Some people think that

this

would lead to all

shops

towns

and

cities

closing,

however

, I disagree with that. The opinion that online shopping will have a

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

negative effect on

shops

towns

and

cities

mainly accounts for these facts. First of all, merchandise on

Internet

Add an article

the Internet

show examples

is mainly cheaper than in

shops

for its low cost, so more people prefer buying goods online than going to

shops

Secondly

, shopping online is more convenient than driving to the city centre where parking is always a problem.

Thirdly

, there are abundant commodity choices online, and searching is as easy as moving a finger,

while

ina

Correct your spelling

in a

show examples

department store or supermarket, we can hardly buy all the stuff at one time. In conclusion, online shopping is winning more and more market share

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and threatens the market of

shops

towns

and

cities

. In my opinion, online shopping can coexist with

shops

well, and they can benefit from each other. To some extent, online shopping

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

never replace

shops

, especially

in particular

fields,

for example

, the service industries

such

as barber

shops

, and restaurants.

In addition

, the lower prices online will push the

shops

towns

to reduce the prices

while

improving the quality, in order to attract more consumers, which would promote the development of companies. At

last

, some

shops

nowadays are not only a place to buy, but

also

a social containment for people to get together. On the whole, I think online shopping will not lead to all

shops

towns

and

cities

closing, but on the opposite, online shopping will get along well with

shops

and be beneficial to the shopping market.

Submitted by 2819 on Mon Oct 14 2024

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task achievement

Try to use more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention particular industries or type of products that will continue to thrive in physical shops.

language

Review the text for minor grammatical errors, such as repeated words or articles like "a a" instead of "a." These small inaccuracies can affect the overall quality of the writing.

coherence cohesion

Consider expanding on how shops can improve the in-person customer experience to make them more appealing despite online shopping convenience, thus strengthening your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay clearly presents an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, creating a well-organized structure.

task achievement

You provided a compelling argument that online shopping and physical shops can coexist and even benefit from each other, covering multiple viewpoints.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

e-commerce
brick-and-mortar
physical stores
online retailers
retail apocalypse
digital economy
consumer behavior
sustainability
commercial landscape
high-street
consumer trends
augmented reality
showrooms
carbon footprint

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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people think the fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise while others believe that all companies should have the right to advertise. What is your opinion?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?

IFossil fuels are essential for producing electricity, powering industry and fuelling transportation. However, one day we will reach a point when all the world’s fossil fuels have been depleted. How can we conserve these resources? What are some alternatives to fossil fuels?