Governments should spend money on rails rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
due to
big
Correct word choice
the large
show examples
amount of traffic jams
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
think that governments should
spemd
Correct your spelling
spend
money on
rails
Fix the agreement mistake
rail
show examples
rather than
roads
. Despite
rails
Correct article usage
the rails
show examples
could be
solution
Add an article
the solution
a solution
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
issue I disagree with
this
statement. Railways
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
have got big popularity during movement or travelling around
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the country by train. Their advantages like
significant
Change the article
a significant
the significant
show examples
number of places which keep people
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
comfort during reaching the
distination
Correct your spelling
destination
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
people
very-well
Correct your spelling
very well
show examples
.
Furthermore
, trains
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
famous owing to their
enourmous
Correct your spelling
enormous
space inside, since there
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
where you can
lay
Verb problem
sit
show examples
and
table
Correct article usage
a table
show examples
where you can eat. If
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
spend money on
rails
Fix the agreement mistake
rail
show examples
, transportation by train will improve and
well-developed
Add a missing verb
be well-developed
show examples
. In spite
all
Change preposition
of all
show examples
of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
goods I think
roads
deserve more attention than
rails
. Because
due to
the road destructions
annually
Add a comma
annually,
show examples
many drivers occasionally experience
accident
Add an article
an accident
show examples
. It leads to
ecconomical
Correct your spelling
economical
economic
shifts which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
negative
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
.
Moreover
, it is obvious that
roads
Add a verb
roads are
roads were
show examples
more important than
rails
Fix the agreement mistake
rail
show examples
, given that
roads
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
more times
ussually
Correct your spelling
usually
than
rails
Fix the agreement mistake
rail
show examples
.
Therefore
they
also
destruct
Verb problem
destroy
show examples
very fast. In conclusion, taking all of
this
data on accounting I strongly believe that
roads
should have money more than railways. If
rails
will
Verb problem
are
show examples
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
more than
roads
by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
it might lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
and low-quality safety on
road
Add an article
the road
a road
show examples
which lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similar disaster for civils.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Essay presents main arguments in separate paragraphs, but they lack clear and logical progression. Transitional phrases between ideas are needed for better flow.
introduction conclusion present
Introduction and conclusion are present but are not fully developed to provide strong framing for the essay. A more detailed introduction setting up the debate and a conclusion summarizing the arguments would strengthen the response.
supported main points
Main points are stated but are not fully supported with detailed explanation or evidence. Improve by including more specific examples or data to back up your claims.
complete response
The essay partially responds to the task, but some parts are underdeveloped and not entirely clear. It is important to fully address the prompt, including exploring both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarity in expressing ideas could be improved. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed which affects comprehension. Aim for clear, precise, and well-structured sentences to communicate ideas more effectively.
relevant specific examples
Good use of specific examples, though the argument would benefit from a broader range of evidence and more detailed support.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: