IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph belows shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Cafe, by seasons.

The graph belows shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Cafe, by seasons.
#belows #sales #food #items #cafe #seasons
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The bar chart compares the
totals
Change the noun form
total
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number
Use synonyms
 of given food items sold in two different seasons at the Brisk Cafe.
Overall
Linking Words
, Hot
coffee
Use synonyms
seem
Change the verb form
seems
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 to be the most popular choice among
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
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 in winter seasons,
whereas
Linking Words
 Iced
coffee
Use synonyms
 proves to be the most
serves
Wrong verb form
served
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 drink during the summer In the summer period, hot
coffee
Use synonyms
 has the biggest
number
Use synonyms
 in
sales
Use synonyms
, with an average
75
Change preposition
of 75
show examples
serving
Fix the agreement mistake
servings
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 sold daily.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the
items
Fix the agreement mistake
item
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 with the second biggest
sales
Use synonyms
 was soup, with an average of 50
serving
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servings
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 sold daily.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, salad and ice cream had an average daily
sales
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 of 25
serving
Replace the word
servings
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 each, and iced
coffee
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
sales
Use synonyms
, with close to zero servings sold daily. The
sales
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 of numbers of each food were different in
summers
Fix the agreement mistake
summer
show examples
 from what they were in winter. Iced
coffee
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 rose significantly to an average of 40
serving
Fix the agreement mistake
servings
show examples
. The
items
Fix the agreement mistake
item
show examples
 with
an
Change the article
a
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 second lead is ice cream, an average of 35 servings sold.
While
Linking Words
, hot
coffee
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, was decreasing to just 30
serving
Fix the agreement mistake
servings
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 sold per day. Soup and salad had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
sales
Use synonyms
, with 25
serving
Fix the agreement mistake
servings
show examples
 sold daily on average.
Submitted by mynonames on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, coffee, sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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