It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages
It is believed that
one
needs to mix up things in his life
in order to enjoy his life
optimally. This
essay discusses the merits and demerits of changing one
's habits and routines,
Remove the comma
apply
while
highlighting my rationale for supporting the notion why changes are positive.
Many people lose their spark or enthusiasm after they follow the same routine, necessitating modifications in their lifestyle not only to increase their life
satisfaction but also
work productivity.
For example
, I read an online survey which aimed at evaluate
Wrong verb form
evaluating
overall
professional and personal happiness and found that individuals experimenting different
sports and more outgoing were more satisfied with their profession and Change preposition
with different
life
outside the workplace.
Jumping on
Change preposition
from
one
thing to another is inconducive to attaining supremacy in their individual endeavors
. Take an example of a person who Change the spelling
endeavours
like
to switch between different careers. Change the verb form
likes
Although
it is true it may provide temporary relief from following monotonous life
while
also
bringing varied life
experiences, its repercussions on the long term
growth of an individual cannot be ignored. These people seldom reach a level of expertise Add a hyphen
long-term
due to
their whimsical and uninformed choices, impeding their progress at
educational and professional spheres. Change preposition
in
For example
, it is highly unlikely for a person aspiring to be a professional athlete to enrich his skills in a particular sports
if he has Correct the article-noun agreement
sport
propensity
Add an article
the propensity
a propensity
of getting
bored soon, who, in turn, Change preposition
to get
start
playing other games; thereby, negating any progress he will make.
In conclusion, there are clear benefits and drawbacks Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
of
following the same routine. Change preposition
to
However
, on balance, I opine that one
should be more adaptive and flexible in order to explore the unknowns; trying various regimens and building new relationships are necessary for the
Correct article usage
apply
overall
wellbeing
. Correct your spelling
well-being
However
, people must exercise caution in order to ascertain that such
undertakings do not impede their progress to accomplish their ultimate targets.Submitted by rohit.narad90 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Some of the paragraphs in your essay were somewhat lacking in focus.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your main points with more specific and detailed examples. Broad claims should be supported by more in-depth evidence to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain topic consistency within each paragraph and ensure that your transitions between ideas are smoother. Using a wider range of cohesive devices would enhance the readability of the essay.
task achievement
Address both sides of the argument more evenly. While you've covered the merits and demerits of change, one side seems to weigh more heavily than the other in your analysis.
task achievement
Be careful with your sentence structure, as some sentences were overly complex or awkwardly constructed which can make them difficult to follow.
task achievement
Avoid informal language in an IELTS essay and maintain academic tone throughout.
task achievement
While real-life examples can be beneficial, ensure that they are believable and relevant to the point you are trying to make. The examples you provide should solidly back up your argument rather than distract from it.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.