Some people think that governments should pay for people’s education and health care, while others believe that it is not governments’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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A school of thought holds that
government
Correct article usage
the government

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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should spend money in the budget on education and basic health care for
citizens
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the alternative stand asserts that it is not necessary. In
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and give my reasons why I believe solving
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

argument
with
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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an equal way will be viable. On the one hand, people assert that
governments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should cover the cost of education and healthcare.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is because
that
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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the
citizens
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to pay a wide range of taxes in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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so they should be able to use these services for free like
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun welfare in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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welfare.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, healthy and educated people would provide a healthy and well-educated workforce for
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society and
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

would be beneficial for the development of nations.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if people were well-educated, they would find well-paid jobs and commit fewer
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes

It seems that crime may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
As a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
citizens
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would live in a peaceful and wealthy country.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the public believes that it is not the government’s
responsiblities
Correct your spelling
responsibility

If you don’t want responsiblities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to provide healthcare and education free for the
citizens
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the public finances
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject finances. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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limited and it has
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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restricted payment for many areas of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society which has passed.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if
governments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

had to spend money on these services, it would put a dent in
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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public
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds

It seems that fund may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the high authorities
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject authorities. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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other
isues
Correct your spelling
issues

If you don’t want isues to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

which are
equal
Change the adjective
equally

It appears that the adjective equal is attempting to modify the adjective vital. Consider replacing it with an adverb.

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vital to allocate. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance

It seems that instances may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, improving infrastructure and national security
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs

It seems that the verb need does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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so much money to conduct in
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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long term. From my perspective, I strongly believe
governments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should not pay the full cost and the public has to give a hand
to
Correct pronoun usage
to it

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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. Because government has
helped
Verb problem
made

There may be a verb use issue here.

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these
welfares
Fix the agreement mistake
welfare

It seems that welfares may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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more accessible, especially for the poor and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses

It seems that the verb use does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the rest of the budget for other fundamental fields. In conclusion, I hold a firm belief it is necessary to use the budget
on
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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these services, but the
citizens
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

take responsibility for their own
exoenses
Correct your spelling
expenses

If you don’t want exoenses to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

by paying a part of the cost rather than relying entirely on the
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government

It seems that governments may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequence of ideas and paragraphs. The essay shows some attempt at structuring the argument but occasionally fails to maintain a clear progression of ideas. Consider using more clear topic sentences and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that the introduction fully addresses the task and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. Both should be clearly identifiable and distinct.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with examples or explanations. The essay includes some general statements, but more specific examples or further elaboration could strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. The essay discusses both views but could be more comprehensive in its approach and provide a more thorough comparison between the two perspectives.
task achievement
Ensure that the ideas are clear and comprehensive. While the essay presents views on the topic, some may need clearer explanation or further development to effectively convey the argument to the reader.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support the claims. This essay would benefit from incorporating more concrete examples to illustrate points better and strengthen the argument.
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