Some people think that governments should pay for people’s education and health care, while others believe that it is not governments’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A school of thought holds that
government
should spend money in the budget on education and basic health care for Correct article usage
the government
citizens
, whereas
the alternative stand asserts that it is not necessary. In this
essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and give my reasons why I believe solving this
argument with
an equal way will be viable.
On the one hand, people assert that Change preposition
in
governments
should cover the cost of education and healthcare. This
is because that
the Correct word choice
apply
citizens
have to pay a wide range of taxes in their life
so they should be able to use these services for free like Fix the agreement mistake
lives
a
welfare. Remove the article
apply
Moreover
, healthy and educated people would provide a healthy and well-educated workforce for the
society and Correct article usage
apply
this
would be beneficial for the development of nations. For example
, if people were well-educated, they would find well-paid jobs and commit fewer crime
. Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
As a result
, the citizens
would live in a peaceful and wealthy country.
On the other hand
, the public believes that it is not the government’s responsiblities
to provide healthcare and education free for the Correct your spelling
responsibility
citizens
. Firstly
, the public finances is
limited and it has Change the verb form
are
a
restricted payment for many areas of Correct article usage
apply
the
society which has passed. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, if governments
had to spend money on these services, it would put a dent in a
public Correct article usage
apply
fund
. Fix the agreement mistake
funds
Secondly
, the high authorities has
other Change the verb form
have
isues
which are Correct your spelling
issues
equal
vital to allocate. For Change the adjective
equally
instances
, improving infrastructure and national security Fix the agreement mistake
instance
also
need
so much money to conduct in Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
a
long term.
From my perspective, I strongly believe Correct article usage
the
governments
should not pay the full cost and the public has to give a hand to
. Because government has Correct pronoun usage
to it
helped
these Verb problem
made
welfares
more accessible, especially for the poor and Fix the agreement mistake
welfare
also
use
the rest of the budget for other fundamental fields.
In conclusion, I hold a firm belief it is necessary to use the budget Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
on
these services, but the Change preposition
for
citizens
also
take responsibility for their own exoenses
by paying a part of the cost rather than relying entirely on the Correct your spelling
expenses
governments
.Fix the agreement mistake
government
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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequence of ideas and paragraphs. The essay shows some attempt at structuring the argument but occasionally fails to maintain a clear progression of ideas. Consider using more clear topic sentences and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that the introduction fully addresses the task and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. Both should be clearly identifiable and distinct.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with examples or explanations. The essay includes some general statements, but more specific examples or further elaboration could strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. The essay discusses both views but could be more comprehensive in its approach and provide a more thorough comparison between the two perspectives.
task achievement
Ensure that the ideas are clear and comprehensive. While the essay presents views on the topic, some may need clearer explanation or further development to effectively convey the argument to the reader.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support the claims. This essay would benefit from incorporating more concrete examples to illustrate points better and strengthen the argument.