Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that thia would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a discussion regarding different views on improving public
health
, while
one
group of people
raised the importance of building more sports
facilities
, the other group believed it would not be effective and requested other ideas to be implemented. Despite the increasing number of sports
facilities
that would help people
to exercise
more and help improve their health
, there are other methods also
that need to be explored to not only improve the physique but also
the mental health
of the public.
Some people
do not have the luxury to be able to exercise
in their homes. This
is where sports
facilities
play a big role by providing them value
of a place where they could focus on training Add an article
the value
in addition
to the equipment needed like bench press machines for weightlifting. In addition
to that, people
also
tend to exercise
more in the sports
facility because of positive reinforcement or peer pressure from others. For example
, in Jakarta
, after the government opened the access to running track of the football stadium in the centre of the city, more people
especially employees who worked nearby, decided to run with their group of friends while
waiting for afternoon traffic to be dismissed. Furthermore
, the independent study summarized that those changes impacted in growing Jakarta
's health
indicator by 10%.
However
, while
the physique is one
of the important aspects of health
, there is another part that needs to be improved and maintained, which is mental. While
the previous approach help people
in a physical way, it could not reach much on mental health
improvement. Problems like stress due to
overwork or life pressure, for example
, could not be solved by exercise
only and need other types of solutions like holidays, supporting groups, work-life balance, etc. For instance
, in the same city, Jakarta
is well known as one
of the cities with congested traffic in the world causing employees to go to the office early and arrive home late. The other independent study said this
problem was one
of the main drivers of high
stress level of Correct article usage
the high
Jakarta
's workers, which later reduced drastically after the government stated
new regulations for working from home.
In conclusion, the development of more Verb problem
established
sports
facilities
benefits public health
but there are additional methods that need to be implemented to improve it more effectively.Submitted by gurunnevada on
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task achievement
Make sure to introduce the topic and your thesis statement more clearly in your introduction. Tailor your conclusion to neatly summarize the points discussed and clearly state your own position in the matter.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs follow a logical sequence. Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas. Be consistent in the use of tense and pronouns for better clarity and cohesion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?