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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#children #form #discipline
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Discipline
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 plays a vital role in every
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
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 life, but beating
children
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on
Change preposition
in
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 the name of
discipline
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 is not a good thing.
However
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, some people believe that physical
punishment
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 is the best way to make their
child
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well mannered
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well-mannered
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.
This
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 essay intends to elaborate on the reasons why I completely disagree with the statement, in upcoming paragraphs.
Parents
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 think that smacking infants will help to raise a disciplined human being because
punishment
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 gives them
a
Correct article usage
apply
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long lasting
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long-lasting
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 pain and in order to avoid
punishment
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children
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 will behave properly.
Moreover
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, elder people
says
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say
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 that if there
will be
Wrong verb form
is
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 no beating or smacking,
children
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 will be fearless and
would
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will
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 do unethical things
such
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 as drugs.
For instance
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, an article published, in The Hindu newspaper revealed that spoiled
children
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 are more likely to get involved in criminal activities.
Thus
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, all of these reasons have made
parents
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 believe in the power of smacking. On the flip side, beating
children
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 for the sake of
discipline
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 is completely unacceptable. Young people are very sensitive, so smacking can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 their mental health which
further
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 leads to depression and anxiety issues. Adding to
this
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, the infants will start disliking their
parents
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 and there is a possibility that they might run away from their house.
Instead
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 of loving their
parents
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,
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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 will be afraid of them.
For example
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, a survey was conducted by Colombian University, USA, in 2021, which showed that the ratio of psychological issues among
children
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 is mounting by 11% every year.
Overall
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, the idea of punishing
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child
Add an article
a child
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 is illogical.
To sum up
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, it can be analyzed from the above discussion that
why
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apply
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physical
punishment
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 is never a good way to raise a
child
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. In my opinion,
lesson
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the lesson
a lesson
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 of
discipline
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 should be taught be love and care.
Submitted by bhullarsimran2121 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Introduce the topic effectively, develop your main points fully in the body, and provide a satisfactory conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and organize paragraphs logically to enhance clarity. Transition words like 'however', 'in addition', 'for example', and varied sentence structures can improve reading flow and coherence.
task achievement
Your essay should fully address the prompt by giving a clear position throughout and supporting it with relevant examples and explanations. Make sure you fully develop your main points with clear examples.
task achievement
Avoid generalizations and make sure all examples are pertinent to the topic. Aim to discuss both sides of the argument if the question asks you to do so, and back up statements with specific evidence or reasoning.
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