Government should spend money on railways rather than roads
It is argued that
government
Correct article usage
the government
ought
invest more money in Add the word
ought to
railways
instead
of roads.I firmly agree with point
of view because Add an article
the point
a point
railways
are environmentally friendly and also
an important of
Change preposition
apply
economical
driver.
There are several reasons why authorities should spend more money on Replace the word
economic
railways
. Firstly
the economic factor can be considered. As railway transport is a state property, if people travel frequently by rail the government can earn a great exten
revenue which is not possible from roads. Correct your spelling
extensive
Therefore
it is inevitable to modernize our railways
and install advanced technology where available
all types of latest amenities. Correct word choice
apply
As a
result
passengers may show more Add a comma
result,
intereste
in Correct your spelling
interest
interested
train
journey. To implement these strategies rail transport requires more budget from government. The second reason is the environmental aspect. We know that our buses,cars,Add an article
a train
motorbikes
use fossil fuels immensely. Even in Correct word choice
and motorbikes
this
contemporary era
we are still dependent on fossil fuels which is not eco-friendly for our environment. Add a comma
era,
For
example
if 500 to 700 individuals avoid private cars or buses in lieu of Add a comma
example,
use
a single train that can reduce the amount of carbon dioxide emissions from fossil fuels Change the form of the verb
using
that
is beneficial for the environment Correct pronoun usage
which
as well as
alleviate traffic congestion. The third reasons
is that Fix the agreement mistake
reason
railways
can minimize our time by covrring
long Correct your spelling
covering
distance
in a short period of time which can Fix the agreement mistake
distances
profound
impact our communication. Change the adjective
profoundly
Furthermore
Add a comma
,
a lots
of business Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
hub
have Fix the agreement mistake
hubs
stared
based on rail connections Correct your spelling
started
such
as logistics, manufacturing, ride sharing
and so on
In conclusion, I reiterate my opinion that both Add a hyphen
ride-sharing
railways
and roads are crucial as a
public services but Correct article usage
apply
railways
asse requier
more budget for sustainable development.Correct your spelling
also require
Submitted by tanvir0507 on
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logical structure
The essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. While an introduction and conclusion are present, they do not effectively set the context or summarize the main arguments of the essay. It would benefit from a well-defined thesis statement in the introduction, clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the key points.
introduction conclusion present
You should ensure that paragraphs are well organized and each paragraph discusses one main idea. Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., moreover, furthermore, however) to create better flow and clarity between ideas and paragraphs.
supported main points
While you provided some support for your main points, the examples and explanations could be developed further. Make sure to include specific examples and clear reasoning to strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
complete response
The essay somewhat addresses the task but could provide a more detailed analysis of why the government should prioritize funding for railways over roads. Ensure you fully develop your argument with comprehensive ideas and relevant, specific details and examples.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are relevant, yet they would benefit from being expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Work on sentence structure and thought development to enhance the clarity of your argument. Avoid overly complex or repetitive sentences that can confuse the reader.
relevant specific examples
While you included examples, they were not always specific or entirely convincing. Aim to provide concrete examples that are directly relevant to the argument and illustrate the points effectively. This would help in making your essay more persuasive.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion