IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads

It is argued that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
ought
Add the word
ought to
show examples
 invest more money in
railways
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of roads.I firmly agree with
point
Add an article
the point
a point
show examples
 of view because
railways
Use synonyms
 are environmentally friendly and
also
Linking Words
 an important
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 driver. There are several reasons why authorities should spend more money on
railways
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
 the economic factor can be considered. As railway transport is a state property, if people travel frequently by rail the government can earn a great
exten
Correct your spelling
extensive
 revenue which is not possible from roads.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it is inevitable to modernize our
railways
Use synonyms
 and install advanced technology where
available
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
all types of latest amenities.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 passengers may show more
intereste
Correct your spelling
interest
interested
 in
train
Add an article
a train
show examples
 journey. To implement these strategies rail transport requires more budget from government. The second reason is the environmental aspect. We know that our buses,cars,
motorbikes
Correct word choice
and motorbikes
show examples
 use fossil fuels immensely. Even in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
 we are still dependent on fossil fuels which is not eco-friendly for our environment.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 if 500 to 700 individuals avoid private cars or buses in lieu of
use
Change the form of the verb
using
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 a single train that can reduce the amount of carbon dioxide emissions from fossil fuels
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is beneficial for the environment
as well as
Linking Words
 alleviate traffic congestion. The third
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
is that
railways
Use synonyms
 can minimize our time by
covrring
Correct your spelling
covering
 long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 in a short period of time which can
profound
Change the adjective
profoundly
show examples
 impact our communication.
Furthermore
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
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 of business
hub
Fix the agreement mistake
hubs
show examples
 have
stared
Correct your spelling
started
show examples
 based on rail connections
such
Linking Words
 as logistics, manufacturing,
ride sharing
Add a hyphen
ride-sharing
show examples
 and so on In conclusion, I reiterate my opinion that both
railways
Use synonyms
 and roads are crucial as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public services but
railways
Use synonyms
asse requier
Correct your spelling
also require
 more budget for sustainable development.

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logical structure
The essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. While an introduction and conclusion are present, they do not effectively set the context or summarize the main arguments of the essay. It would benefit from a well-defined thesis statement in the introduction, clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the key points.
introduction conclusion present
You should ensure that paragraphs are well organized and each paragraph discusses one main idea. Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., moreover, furthermore, however) to create better flow and clarity between ideas and paragraphs.
supported main points
While you provided some support for your main points, the examples and explanations could be developed further. Make sure to include specific examples and clear reasoning to strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
complete response
The essay somewhat addresses the task but could provide a more detailed analysis of why the government should prioritize funding for railways over roads. Ensure you fully develop your argument with comprehensive ideas and relevant, specific details and examples.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are relevant, yet they would benefit from being expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Work on sentence structure and thought development to enhance the clarity of your argument. Avoid overly complex or repetitive sentences that can confuse the reader.
relevant specific examples
While you included examples, they were not always specific or entirely convincing. Aim to provide concrete examples that are directly relevant to the argument and illustrate the points effectively. This would help in making your essay more persuasive.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
What to do next:
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