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Band 4.5

Many educators believe that international exchange trips are beneficial for students . Do you agree or disagree.

#educators #exchange #trips #students
Studying abroad is given huge
press
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pressure
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. Nowadays,
due to
 different social and economic problems, young educators have a severe tendency to migrate to other countries. One of the policies that governments and universities have is exchanging pupils with another university's students. A vast majority of people agree that exchanging is a good option and so do I.
Initially
, it is an
unfustifiable
Correct your spelling
unjustifiable
 fact that being isolated does not have beneficial incomes. These days numerous institutes are trying to send local students to international places in order to gain new experiences. Gaining experience is an important factor for youth. They do not have
much
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many
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 opportunities in their
live
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lives
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 to become
expose
Wrong verb form
exposed
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among
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to
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diversity
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diverse
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 nations and individuals.
However
 they spend a lot of time with their local community,
they
Correct word choice
so they
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 cannot have a beneficial connection with noble scientists and researchers. So exchanging them with another university's pupil could be a good way.
Secondly
, we are living in a world that has myriad accessibilities for people who are
such
 lucky to live in
this
 era. As an example, unlike past decade when individuals had to travel by
horses
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horse
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 or
cars
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car
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, these days everyone can just buy a ticket
of
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or
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 an
airplane
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aeroplane
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 to any destination around the world and reach there easily.
Although
trasferring
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transferring
 students to another country could be a burden on the
shoulder
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shoulders
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 of society, it has many positive effects in the future,
specially
Rephrase
especially
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 for developing countries that need local experts and are trying to circumscribe
Correct article usage
the young
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young
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the young
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 generation's immigration.
As a result
, despite all
expenses
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the expenses
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this
 process would have for the government, it
Add a missing verb
is worth
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worth
Correct pronoun usage
worth it
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. To sum it up, exchanging human resources has several positive points for nations.
Additionally
, we are living in an easier world in comparison to previous decades. So it is our duty to help offspring to bring new sciences to our country.
Submitted by tg.persian on

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you present a clear position throughout the response and fully address all parts of the task. Your essay should always directly respond to the given question and maintain a consistent argument. Provide more specific and directly relevant examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, create clear and logical connections between your ideas and paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be well-developed with relevant supporting details. Make better use of cohesive devices to help the reader follow your argument more smoothly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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