IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emission #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts illustrate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about how
energy
Use synonyms
 use
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the household and the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions from the household in Australia
such
Linking Words
 as
colling
Correct your spelling
cooling
show examples
, heating, refrigeration,
water
Use synonyms
bheating
Correct your spelling
heating
, lighting and other
aplpliances
Correct your spelling
appliances
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
australians
Change the capitalization
Australians
show examples
are mostly used
Change the verb form
have mostly used
show examples
 the
energy
Use synonyms
 for heating and it cause the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emmission
Correct your spelling
emissions
emission
 is the second largest, and the most
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 is
water
Use synonyms
 heating. The graph shows that heating is used more
energy
Use synonyms
 as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cooling, at just above two-fifths and 2
perecent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 respectively.
The
Correct article usage
Water
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 heating is the second largest
energy
Use synonyms
 utilise, which is 30 per cent,
in contrast
Linking Words
, other appliances,
refrigrator
Correct your spelling
refrigerator
refrigerators
 and lighting are used
minimum
Add an article
the minimum
a minimum
show examples
 amount of
energy
Use synonyms
, at 15%, 7% and 4% respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 heating
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 more
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions, at 32 per cent
while
Linking Words
 other appliances
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the second largest, which is 28%. The refrigerator and heating release
gas
Use synonyms
 from the household
alomst
Correct your spelling
almost
 the same amount, at 15 and 14 per cent. lighting and cooling are the least amount of the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emission, at just under a fifth and 3% respectively.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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