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Band 5.5

Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

#life #development
Advertising has become
an
Change the article
a
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 ubiquitous part of our lives. It can be found on television, radio,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and even in our mailboxes. From my perspective, I strongly believe that advertising has more positive than negative effects.
To begin
 with, advertising
also
 has some negative impacts. One downside of print ads is that they can create unessential consumption pressure. The reason is that many commercials are really interesting and they can manipulate customers into spending money on futile things. Another disadvantage is that it can create meaningless values in society.
This
 is because some companies use gimmicks to sell their
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
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 products,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to consumers being disappointed and even depressed.
Furthermore
, hype can waste resources and harm the environment.
On the other hand
, advertising can be a valuable tool for businesses and consumers.
First,
by reaching a large audience, propaganda can boost the economy and increase sales revenue. Another benefit of marketing is that it can help purchasers make smart decisions. Customers are informed about products through publicity so that they can learn about new products or compare them to others.
Furthermore
, sponsorship is
also
 beneficial for promoting culture.
For example
, the Government propagates and educates clients about the advantages of a balanced diet or safety drive.
Additionally
, raise everyone's awareness about important issues
such
 as energy savings and environmental protection.
Finally
, despite some unprofitable reasons for society, it still provides more adequate economic benefits to the country, businesses,
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 buyers. For the reasons stated above, I am convinced that
this
 phenomenon is beneficial.
Submitted by huoglan10 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and that subsequent sentences directly support it with specific details.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear topic sentence in each paragraph to guide readers through your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to develop ideas fully to match the level of depth expected at a high band score. The use of examples will be crucial here.
task achievement
Work on providing real-life examples to substantiate your points. This could involve citing studies, surveys, or general observations.
task achievement
Keep an eye on the consistency of your argument. Both sides of the argument should be clearly explored when discussing advantages and disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • economic growth
  • provide information
  • awareness
  • job opportunities
  • manipulative
  • misleading
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • invade
  • personal space
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