IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people fails in school, but ends up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is important things to succeed in life?

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Recently, a number of
individuals
Use synonyms
 don't succeed in schooling,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 after
Add a comma
awhile,
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awhile
Correct your spelling
a while
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 they become successful in their lives. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that they come from rich families and one of the crucial things why they make it in
life
Use synonyms
 is
due to
Linking Words
 good handling of
money
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, there are so many reasons why people make it in
life
Use synonyms
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of failing at campus and
this
Linking Words
consider
Change the verb form
considers
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 the fact that some members are born from rich families. Some parents have a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 to
an
Correct article usage
the
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 extent that they tend to prepare for the future of their children no matter whether they are successful in education or not.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, other
individuals
Use synonyms
 just become lucky in
life
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 and end up becoming successful. To clarify more, some people start a small business with little
money
Use synonyms
 and it eventually grows up to the level of international
wothout
Correct your spelling
without
 putting in much effort until he or she
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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billionaire.
This
Linking Words
 is not only
as a result
Linking Words
 of luck but
also
Linking Words
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
.
Inspite
Correct your spelling
In spite
 of succeeding in
life
Use synonyms
without
Change preposition
apply
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knowing the vital things to make you successful means nothing. Proper planning and respect are the key to success whereby
individuals
Use synonyms
 have to know how to invest their cash on top of respecting the team they are working with and to always do an audit in order to be aware if their
money
Use synonyms
 is productive or not.
This
Linking Words
 will enable the people to be wealthy
as well as
Linking Words
 more knowledgeable about how to be important in
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Koreans are among the wealthy
individuals
Use synonyms
 because of
knowing
Wrong verb form
know
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 how to invest their cash. In conclusion, even though a number of members turn up being
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
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 owing to the fact that they belong to rich homes and others by
luckdespite
Correct your spelling
luck despite
 not being able to attain a degree.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe they should be oriented on how to maintain the richness, it needs respecting one another and
good
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
good planning

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure and progression. Ideas should be organized into well-defined paragraphs with clear topics and supporting details. Use a variety of linking words to help the text flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include an introduction that paraphrases the question and states your main points, followed by body paragraphs that explore these points with examples, and a conclusive paragraph summarizing your arguments.
Task Achievement
Focus on fully addressing the task prompt. Develop your ideas fully with explanations and examples. Your examples should be specific and relevant to the point you're making.
Task Achievement
Ensure you create a logical argument that directly relates to the task. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be backed up with reasons and examples. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
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