The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram explains the way in which
sugar
is produced by using
sugar
cane.
Overall
, the process consists of seven different stages. It starts with growing the
canes
and ends with drying the crystal
sugar
particles.
First,
sugar
cane seeds start to grow from the ground. The growing stage takes at least twelve months and it may go up to eighteen months and
then
they are harvested either automatically or manually. The manual method involves copping the
canes
,
while
the automatic method involves machines to cut the
canes
. After that,
sugar
canes
undergo the crushing machine which crushes the
canes
and turns them into
juice
. Acquired
juice
, is
subsequently
, purified by special filters called limestone. In the next stage, purified
juice
is put into the evaporator and heated to turn the
juice
into
syrup
. The
syrup
,
then
,
undergo
Change the verb form
undergoes
show examples
a centrifuge which spins the
syrup
in a convenient way in order to separate
sugar
crystals from the
syrup
.
Finally
, eliminated
sugar
crystals left in a tank for drying and cooling.
Submitted by asik.melliss on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, juice, syrup with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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