The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram explains the way in which
sugar
Use synonyms
is produced by using
sugar
Use synonyms
cane.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process consists of seven different stages. It starts with growing the
canes
Use synonyms
and ends with drying the crystal
sugar
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particles.
First,
Linking Words
sugar
Use synonyms
cane seeds start to grow from the ground. The growing stage takes at least twelve months and it may go up to eighteen months and
then
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they are harvested either automatically or manually. The manual method involves copping the
canes
Use synonyms
,
while
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the automatic method involves machines to cut the
canes
Use synonyms
. After that,
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
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undergo the crushing machine which crushes the
canes
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and turns them into
juice
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. Acquired
juice
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, is
subsequently
Linking Words
, purified by special filters called limestone. In the next stage, purified
juice
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is put into the evaporator and heated to turn the
juice
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into
syrup
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. The
syrup
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,
then
Linking Words
,
undergo
Change the verb form
undergoes
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a centrifuge which spins the
syrup
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in a convenient way in order to separate
sugar
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crystals from the
syrup
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.
Finally
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, eliminated
sugar
Use synonyms
crystals left in a tank for drying and cooling.
Submitted by asik.melliss on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, juice, syrup with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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