The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives.
It has been widely claimed that the most crucial
purpose
of science
should be an improvement for the living of people
. While
it is argued by some that there is possibility
that other Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
purpose
could be more important. Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
This
essay discusses with
the perspectives Change preposition
apply
why
I agree that Change preposition
on why
development
of Correct article usage
the development
people
’s live
is the most important goal for Replace the word
lives
science
.
To being
with, it seems reasonable to believe that Verb problem
begin
science
become one of the most important factors that
is
Change the verb form
are
Correct article usage
the method
method
for Fix the agreement mistake
methods
medical
Add an article
a medical
experiment
. In Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
the
case, it could be harmful for society if the Correct determiner usage
this
purpose
of the researching
is not Replace the word
research
focusing
on an improvement Change the verb form
to focus
for
Change preposition
in
people ‘
lives. Change noun form
people's
For example
, the medicine could not be enough good quality because the manufacturing company uses science
to reduce cost of the production to respond the
Change preposition
to the
purpose
for
reaching more profit. Change preposition
of
For
Change preposition
From
this
perspective, it could make
Verb problem
have
the
negative effects Correct article usage
apply
for
Change preposition
on
people
who have a
serious health Correct article usage
apply
condition
when Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
science
is used for the
misconduct.
Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, it could be a significant point to debate that the price of basic goods or services for standard
of living will be extremely too expensive to afford in case Add an article
the standard
a standard
that
the priority of aim of Correct word choice
apply
science
is commercial
Add an article
a commercial
purpose
. To clarify the argument, it could be seen that our routine daily life is involved with product
resulting from Fix the agreement mistake
products
innovation
of Add an article
the innovation
science
in some way such
as electronic vehicles and smartphones. As a consequence
, this
could cause difficult
situation for Correct article usage
a difficult
people
who receive minimum wages because the price is too high to afford those products.
In conclusion, I am the option believing that the most crucial goal of science
should be focusing on development
of Add an article
the development
people
because it is able to cause negative outcomes for society in case of targeting on
other purposes Change preposition
apply
such
as profitable growth and only conducting business.Submitted by kanittha.sma on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure the logical flow of ideas by organizing paragraphs clearly and using a range of cohesive devices. The essay should have a natural progression from introduction, through main body paragraphs, to a conclusion, with each paragraph focused on a single main idea.
Task Achievement
It is crucial to directly and fully address the prompts given in the task. Make sure that each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence directly related to the task and that it is elaborated with relevant details and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be clearer. The introduction should clearly respond to the task and state what the essay will discuss. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position without introducing new information.
Language Accuracy
Increase the range and accuracy of your grammatical structures and vocabulary. This will help better articulate ideas and improve the overall flow and clarity of the essay.
Task Achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to support each main point you make. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?