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Band 4.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.

#country #language
It has been widely claimed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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serious social problems could
be occurred
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occur
have occurred
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as well as
 practical problems when living in
state
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a state
the state
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 where
people
 speak foreign
language
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languages
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.
While
 it is argued by some that the issues might not
ne
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be
happened
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happen
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 seriously.
This
 essay discusses
with
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apply
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the perspectives
why
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on why
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 I agree that living in
the
Correct determiner usage
these
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circumstance
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circumstances
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 will be the reason to negatively affect our social life. To
being
Verb problem
begin
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 with, it might seem reasonable for some to believe that technology is one of the tools to solve the issue.
However
, it could be less helpful in several
situation
Change to a plural noun
situations
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.
For example
,
people
 who
were spending
Wrong verb form
spent
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 time during their childhood in another country might consider the different
language
 causes the different
culture
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cultures
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such
 as
manner
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the manner
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 in social convention.
For
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From
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this
 perspective, it could be
difficult
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a difficult
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 situation for them to not only learn the new
language
 but
also
 adapt themselves to
new
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a new
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 culture to be a part of the community.
Moreover
, it could a significant to debate that the foreign
language
 is
social
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a social
the social
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 barrier. To clarify the argument, it could be seen that
language
 is
important
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an important
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 factor for
people
 to
firstly
 get connected with new groups of
people
.
For instance
, there is
opportunity
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an opportunity
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 to build new
relationship
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relationships
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 with new
person
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people
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in
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at
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 social events
such
 as wedding
day
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days
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 and birthday
party
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parties
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.
As a consequence
, the new
language
 could cause
obstacle
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obstacles
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 to
communicate
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communicating
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 in case
that
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apply
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an
Correct article usage
the
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 ability to communicate with the
language
 is not fluent. In conclusion,
although
 it is undeniable that nowadays
people
 are surrounded by innovation to reduce the
misunderstand
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misunderstanding
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from
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of
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 communication with foreign
language
, I am the option to
believing
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that there are still
the
Correct article usage
apply
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serious issues because of the culture gap and
language
 barrier.
Submitted by kanittha.sma on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the essay's purpose. Your conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new information. Use clear topic sentences to introduce paragraphs.
Cohesiveness
Utilize a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more naturally across and within paragraphs. Be careful not to overuse them to maintain flow and clarity.
Support for Main Points
Your main points should be elaborated with concrete examples and detailed explanations; this strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.
Task Response
Fully respond to all parts of the task prompt. Ensure that your response is comprehensive and addresses the question directly. Provide a balanced argument if the task requires discussion of different viewpoints.
Clarity and Development of Ideas
Develop your ideas thoroughly to address the topic from a comprehensive perspective. Include specific details and examples to support your argument and give it depth.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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