You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#minutes #countries #sports #facilities #train #athletes #development

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Change preposition

In n

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Correct your spelling

the

modern era, some countries are trying to

built

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build

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a legacy by successfully participating in different tournaments with good practice and other countries are focusing on providing

sports

facilities that each one can take advantage

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of, and

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and

Correct word choice

apply

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I agree with

this

approach to developing sustainable and stable training methods.

Firstly

, if

nation

Correct article usage

a nation

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provides good

infrastructures

Fix the agreement mistake

infrastructure

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for

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athletes

they

trained

Wrong verb form

train

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well,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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get proper nutrition and

helth

Correct your spelling

health

care with better training equipment as

requuired

Correct your spelling

required

for

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

sports

then

only they can

achive

Correct your spelling

achieve

good

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

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For instance

, the

goverment

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government

of China is

higly

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highly

supported

for

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show examples

this

idea and

as a result

, their contested

athletes

constantly

won

Wrong verb form

win

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multiple medals in

big

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a big

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tournament

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tournaments

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Correct article usage

the olympics

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olympics

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Olympics

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On the other hand

, the governments should fund more local

sports

centers

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centres

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to maintain healthy vibes among citizens. By making gyms, swimming pools, boxing, or gymnastics courses for kids the government opens the opportunity for its citizens to find new hobbies.

Therefore

, from

this

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this,

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they can gain new confidence.

For example

, India is now focusing

to built

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on building

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new local

sport

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sports

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centers

from

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for

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this

new

genrations

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generation

generations

Unnecessary verb

apply

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participating in

sports

Secondly

, it is clear the top-ranked players

deserves

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deserve

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play where they can concentrate on the development of their skill and

also

new

athletes

can earn their experience from

well trained

Add a hyphen

well-trained

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athletes

. In conclusion,

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show examples

think

sport

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sports

show examples

centers

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centres

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bring a lot of benefits to different spheres of a country's life with confidence,

while

their citizens' health would be improved by local convenient fitness centres by

pariticipating

Correct your spelling

participating

in local

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

Gym, swimming pool etc.

Submitted by shubhashish.bobby on Sat Dec 16 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear logical structuring. Paragraphs should be used effectively to separate ideas, with each paragraph containing a single overarching idea supported by specific examples.

coherence cohesion

There is a present of an introduction and a conclusion, but they are underdeveloped. The introduction should clearly state the discussed points and your stance, and the conclusion should summarize the main points and reiterate your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Main points are not convincingly supported; the essay would benefit from the use of clear, relevant examples to illustrate each argument.

task achievement

The response fulfills the task in a minimal way. However, the arguments are not fully expanded upon or well-supported by examples.

task achievement

Ideas lack comprehensive development and clarity, which leads to a somewhat superficial treatment of the task.

task achievement

Use of specific examples is present but limited, and they could be developed further to strengthen the argument and make the writing more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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