You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In n
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n
Correct your spelling
the
modern era, some countries are trying to
built
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build
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a legacy by successfully participating in different tournaments with good practice and other countries are focusing on providing
sports
facilities that each one can take advantage
,
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of, and
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and
Correct word choice
apply
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I agree with
this
approach to developing sustainable and stable training methods.
Firstly
, if
nation
Correct article usage
a nation
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provides good
infrastructures
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infrastructure
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to
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for
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athletes
they
trained
Wrong verb form
train
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well,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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get proper nutrition and
helth
Correct your spelling
health
care with better training equipment as
requuired
Correct your spelling
required
for
there
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their
show examples
sports
then
only they can
achive
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achieve
good
result
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results
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.
For instance
, the
goverment
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government
of China is
higly
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highly
supported
for
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by
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this
idea and
as a result
, their contested
athletes
constantly
won
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win
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multiple medals in
big
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a big
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tournament
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tournaments
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like
Correct article usage
the olympics
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olympics
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Olympics
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.
On the other hand
, the governments should fund more local
sports
centers
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centres
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to maintain healthy vibes among citizens. By making gyms, swimming pools, boxing, or gymnastics courses for kids the government opens the opportunity for its citizens to find new hobbies.
Therefore
, from
this
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this,
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they can gain new confidence.
For example
, India is now focusing
to built
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on building
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new local
sport
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sports
show examples
centers
from
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for
show examples
this
new
genrations
Correct your spelling
generation
generations
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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participating in
sports
.
Secondly
, it is clear the top-ranked players
deserves
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deserve
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play where they can concentrate on the development of their skill and
also
new
athletes
can earn their experience from
well trained
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well-trained
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athletes
. In conclusion,
i
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I
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think
sport
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sports
show examples
centers
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centres
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bring a lot of benefits to different spheres of a country's life with confidence,
while
their citizens' health would be improved by local convenient fitness centres by
pariticipating
Correct your spelling
participating
in local
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
Gym, swimming pool etc.
Submitted by shubhashish.bobby on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical structuring. Paragraphs should be used effectively to separate ideas, with each paragraph containing a single overarching idea supported by specific examples.
coherence cohesion
There is a present of an introduction and a conclusion, but they are underdeveloped. The introduction should clearly state the discussed points and your stance, and the conclusion should summarize the main points and reiterate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are not convincingly supported; the essay would benefit from the use of clear, relevant examples to illustrate each argument.
task achievement
The response fulfills the task in a minimal way. However, the arguments are not fully expanded upon or well-supported by examples.
task achievement
Ideas lack comprehensive development and clarity, which leads to a somewhat superficial treatment of the task.
task achievement
Use of specific examples is present but limited, and they could be developed further to strengthen the argument and make the writing more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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