In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
In many countries,
people
are now living longer than ever before. Some people
say an ageing population creates problems for government
. Other Add an article
the government
people
think there are benefits if society
has more elderly people
.
It has been widely claimed that an ageing society
could cause issues for government
. Correct article usage
the government
While
it is argued by some that there are beneficial sides from
Change preposition
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. This
essay firstly
discusses Change the word
first
with
both perspectives before elaborating why I consider Change preposition
apply
that
the ageing Correct word choice
apply
society
provides
to be a positive circumstance.
To Verb problem
apply
being
with, it might seem reasonable for some to believe that an ageing community is leading to problems to manage. Verb problem
begin
This
is properly
because the cost of public services for old Change the word
proper
people
is expensive because it requires more complex technology or more advance
innovation. Replace the word
advanced
For example
, in case
of medical services, the fee Correct article usage
the case
of
medicine or special treatment for Change preposition
for
elderly
group might be high because of the serious health condition. Add an article
the elderly
For
Change preposition
From
this
perspective, it could make the government be
in Unnecessary verb
apply
more
difficult situation to find the budget for providing those services.
Add an article
a more
On the other hand
, it could a
significant point to debate that having grandparents in Add a missing verb
be a
family
is a good foundation Add an article
the family
a family
of
Change preposition
for
living
of Correct article usage
the living
people
in the country. To clarify the argument, it could be seen that grandparents nowadays became
a person to look after their grandchild in the working days Wrong verb form
become
instead
of the children’s parent
. Fix the agreement mistake
parents
For instance
, in the case that the parent lives in the city because of their occupation, their child stay
in the rural area for education. Correct subject-verb agreement
stays
As a consequence
, this
could cause the duty for
the old Change preposition
of
people
to be supportive for
the family.Change preposition
of
Submitted by kanittha.sma on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task prompt. You should also provide a conclusive statement that summarizes your position on the issue.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you need to structure your essay more logically, with clear progression from one idea to the next. Your introduction and conclusion are notably missing, which affects your overall score. Ensure you have a distinct introduction that introduces the topic, a body that explores your ideas, and a conclusion that wraps up your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to connect your ideas more effectively, and work on paragraphing to clearly separate points. This will help make your essay easier to follow and understand.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!