Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changes because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

#people #changes #technology #relationships #become #development

Science and technology have made enormous changes in

communication

modes; video

Add the comma(s)

, as well as audio calls, chats and emails,

show examples

as well as

audio calls, chats and emails are the main courses of interacting with each other nowadays.

Nevertheless

, passing information towards each other is way more

conveinent

Correct your spelling

convenient

in today's era,

however

, there are

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

drawbacks associated with

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

modren tecnhiques

Correct your spelling

modern techniques

. To commence with,

Correct article usage

the modren

show examples

modren

Correct your spelling

modern

era,

Add a missing verb

is undoubtdly

show examples

undoubtdly

Correct your spelling

undoubtedly

, more advanced in the field of

communication

in comparison to

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

; calling over the

phones

Fix the agreement mistake

phone

show examples

, text

masseges

Correct your spelling

messages

and transmitting data over the

phones

emails

Fix the agreement mistake

show examples

passing information instantly. To illustrate, family

memebers

Correct your spelling

members

who live apart from each other physically, can connect by cell

phones

and see their loved ones

Change preposition

via

show examples

video calls; wireless devices melt geographical

boundries

Correct your spelling

boundaries

amongst loved ones.

In addition

to it,

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and laptops enable distance working, and employees can work for foreign companies from home.

This

trend

galvanize

Change the verb form

galvanizes

show examples

big organisations to hire workers or technicians from distinctive nations. On the flip side, the very first

drwback

Correct your spelling

drawback

this

communication

generation

Add an article

a generation

the generation

show examples

gap, which is hard to cap in

this

modern time. People, especially young ones,

involved

Add a missing verb

are involved

show examples

in their

electonic

Correct your spelling

electronic

gadgets so grossly that they

forgot

Wrong verb form

forget

show examples

sometimes to talk to the person who is sitting to them.

For example

family-time

Correct your spelling

family time

show examples

or dinner-time where all family

memebers

Correct your spelling

members

sit together and eat would

be eloped

Change to the active voice

elope

have eloped

show examples

in most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

houses where adolescents are engaged in their

phones

overwhelmly

Correct your spelling

overwhelmingly

. To encapsulate, it is undeniable that recent innovations make interacting with each other convenient and

physically

Change the word

physical

show examples

boundries

Correct your spelling

boundaries

get

disappeared

Wrong verb form

disappear

show examples

with the presence of

modren

Correct your spelling

modern

technology,

however

communication

Change preposition

with

show examples

the next sitting person, especially between old and young people is getting diminished on account of over usage of

electonic

Correct your spelling

electronic

gadgets.

Submitted by parneetkhangura62 on Sat Dec 16 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

You should ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, which includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph follows logically from the previous one and that your ideas are clearly organized within each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good, but they could be further developed. Be sure to restate the task in your own words in the introduction, and provide a clear stance on the issue. The conclusion should effectively summarize the points made in the essay and restate your stance, providing a strong final impression.

coherence cohesion

Aim to support your main points with concrete examples and evidence throughout the essay. Each main point should have at least one relevant, specific example that clearly supports it. Avoid general statements without clear evidence.

task achievement

Be sure to address all parts of the task. Make sure your essay answers the complete question by discussing not only how technology has affected types of relationships people make but also whether this change is positive or negative. Develop each part of your response thoroughly.

task achievement

Ensure that your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Don't rely on broad statements; instead, drill down into details that show your understanding of the topic. Work on developing complex ideas and explore the implications of those ideas.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should be detailed and clearly linked to your main ideas. Examples help to illustrate your points and make your arguments more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Discuss your academic and non-academic achievements (for undergraduate and vocational student), and industrial experience (for vocational student only) including the process and skills involved in your previous or current degree program!
This mindset accompanies me whenever I want to explore and try something new. I achieved second place as an Exemplary Student of Universitas Pancasila, which can be seen as a result of my journey. Actively participating in volunteering since 2022 has developed my self-development skills. However, my turning back point happened in July 2023. At that time, Kompetisi Debat Mahasiswa Indonesia (KDMI) 2023 was opened, and I was intrigued to try new things. I almost gave up because I had never done a debate before. Armed with a mindset of “just try,” I successfully faced various changes until the final selection. I expanded the perspective that I never paid attention to and combined it with many possible aspects to build my motion’s argument. My critical thinking and decision-making were also developed due to the short time I had to build the argument.
7.5
band
Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some hobbies are relatively easy, while others present more of a challenge. Personally, I believe that both types of hobby can be fun, and I therefore disagree with the statement that hobbies need to be difficult in order to be enjoyable. On the one hand, many people enjoy easy hobbies. One example of an activity that is easy for most people is swimming. This hobby requires very little equipment, it is simple to learn, and it is inexpensive. I remember learning to swim at my local swimming pool when I was a child, and it never felt like a demanding or challenging experience. Another hobby that I find easy and fun is photography. In my opinion, anyone can take interesting pictures without knowing too much about the technicalities of operating a camera. Despite being straightforward, taking photos is a satisfying activity. On the other hand, difficult hobbies can sometimes be more exciting. If an activity is more challenging, we might feel a greater sense of satisfaction when we manag...
6.5
band
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In this period, we are witnessing rapid progress in scientific research, and every day, an invention appears. Parallel to this, some people believe, it is better to not display all this information overtly because it is invaluable and scarce, and shouldn’t be accessible to the public. In contrast, some individuals consider this idea false, and believe it is best to publish as much information as we can. In this essay, I’m going to discuss both views, and give my own opinion.
5
band
Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?
Needless to say that consumption of fast food adversely affecting the health of a human being. Some people claimed, it is essential to impose a high tax on junk foodstuff because it may discourage people from eating fast food. In my opinion, hefty charges can reduce the consumption rate but will not motivate them for nutritious food items, and I would explain some points which strengthen my viewpoint in the upcoming paragraphs.
7.5
band
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Though agriculture is scientifically developed and advanced technology is implemented in this sector, still a huge population does not have food to eat. In this essay, I will throw some light on the causes and propose some solutions to eradicate this problem.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changes because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Discuss your academic and non-academic achievements (for undergraduate and vocational student), and industrial experience (for vocational student only) including the process and skills involved in your previous or current degree program!

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.